christmas pajama pictures..

four christmases: part 1...

just imagine that chloe is in this picture and that david isn't looking at me like he is trying to blow up the camera with his mind power.

i realize at this point i need to do a much better job of taking pictures in future years...

we are so blessed to have so much family that is close enough to spend the holidays with and christmas is no exception. it is difficult for me to imagine anything more magical than watching my children (or any child) experience the joy of christmas.

of course we had a christmas melt down (or thirty) from the lack of sleep and over excitement...but the laughter, the smiles, and the desire to be comforted by the normalcy of family made all of the not so fun moments more than worthwhile.

our first christmas started with kyle's family on christmas eve. we headed over for lunch? dinner? at 2:00. it is always fun to watch harper, chloe, and emmi interact because they are all so close in age. i love that. my cousin is 6 months younger than me and there wasn't much better than hanging out with her...even though my aunt and uncle swear i was the trouble maker...maybe i just always had good ideas. it is nice that they are all starting to get old enough to play without constant grown up intervention because that gave me time to laugh and hang out with the rest of the family...and who doesn't like a good laugh on christmas? kyle and his dad in that hat...sigh.

part 2...our house christmas eve/morning...coming soon :)

oliver jack's first birthday...

it is hard to believe that oliver jack is officially a year old! sometimes when i would think back at certain points of the season and realize that a year ago he wasn't here i would find myself so shocked. it was also strange to think that i was induced with him so i kept wondering when he would have been born if we did not intervene. 6 days from christmas is close enough...but what if...

we had his party on the saturday of his actual birthday. i made the invitations in september and i actually managed to get most of them out, unless i had to mail them...then, i'm sorry. i had good intentions and i still have invitations with your name on them in my house. the post office is never on my list of places to visit. i still am not quite sure what i was thinking with scheduling the party at 1:00. all of my kids have been either taking a nap or nearing a nap at 1:00 since as long as i can remember. the fact that i decided to throw a party at this time is beyond me. but whatever. i had the invitations printed so there was no going back.

we didn't buy him much. he's a pretty simple kid. all i knew that i wanted was balloons, balls, and bubbles. oh, and cake. anything else would be superfluous for him.

the party was great. we had so much family and quite a few friends and it was just so much fun to hang out so close to christmas.

thanks to my sister in law, allison, i was able to help jack open presents and do some other things without having to worry about taking pictures. it was fun to look at the pictures after everything was over and done with as well...

christmas lights...

i am painfully behind on posting. between all the season's festivities, preparing for festivities, oliver jack's birthday, and 4 christmases i have been taking more pictures than writing...

oliver jack's new haircut...

before:



after:

(note that he has learned to smile for the camera...)

tomorrow jack turns 1...

we celebrated with a trip to the doctor's office for a well visit...yay shots! oliver jack was a trooper. he sat, holding calvary's hand, on my lap and braved the three shots that were lovingly jabbed into is thick legs. he cried just a minute.

hopefully, we can truly make up for the injustice tomorrow as we celebrate his birthday for real. i love that all of my babies have been born on friday because every first birthday actually falls on a saturday! whenever we have another baby it better cooperate :)

oliver jack's stats:

height--29.5 inches--53%

weight--23 lbs--48%

head--19 inches--90%

long overdue...

harper and i finally cut off our long hair...i was skeptical if harper would actually carry out with the plan, but she did it and now we can hardly pull her away from the mirror. i am super pleased with my low maintenance cut as well.

i found the zipper...

i posted a couple of weeks ago about calvary sticking the zipper up his nose. unfortunately at that time, i had misplaced the zipper...i always tell kyle that it is either the stuff or the kids and for the most part he has been happy that i choose to lose the stuff instead of the children...

anyway, kyle told me where i had left the zipper and i thought i would take a picture. but the picture of just the zipper didn't quite do justice to the horrible reality of just how big this zipper truly is. i needed something to give reference. i thought of calvary but i was afraid that he would rekindle some sort of strange desire to stick the object up his nose. i decided the only safe route would be to actually tape the zipper to his nose, snap a quick shot, and then remove the zipper before he could be tempted to put those clever little hands on it. and that is just what i did.

hard to believe that ALL i could see of this giant zipper was tee-tiny glimmer of pink...oh the wonders of the human body.

the countdown begins

in 10 days oliver jack will be 1 year old...
hard to believe.
even harder to believe that i am the mother of three children. the youngest of which is soon to be 1.

walking through fire...

lately calvary has demonstrated that simply hearing a warning might not be enough to satisfy his curiosity. he has become a child that has to walk through the fire to realize that it burns...
we've learned some valuable lessons from calvary and hopefully he has learned from them as well...
i cannot believe it has taken me this long to chronicle this moment in our history, but i am kind of glad that i can do this more as a lump picture of calvary's personality rather than a freak incident that occurred...because i am learning more every day that these things happen to calvary more often than others mostly because he has to learn the hard way...
a few weeks ago (or maybe a couple of months) we left a play date with harper's best friend from school. we had a great time and were heading home just in time to meet kyle as he came home from work. i was driving down the road and calvary starts screaming. i, being quite used to hearing calvary scream over every little thing, calmly asked him what was wrong. i never expected in a million years to hear what he would then say: "i lost my zipper in my nose!" i look in the rear view mirror and see calvary with blood on his face. i whipped my car in the nearest parking lot (i'm not really sure what i expected to do at that moment but this is what i did). once i got out of the car i looked in his nose, on his clothes, in the car, and could find no evidence of this zipper. i questioned whether he might have dropped the zipper and thought he stuck it up his nose. whatever had happened he had made himself bleed by digging around in his nose looking for the mysteriously missing finishing. i got home, called the doctor, and they said to bring him in immediately. i called kyle, and he was certain that we could get it out ourselves. i still had not seen the zipper so i was skeptical that it was even in there...so, i asked him to get a tissue and blow his nose...after that, if i would pull his cheek to the side and open his nose and shine a flashlight i could catch the smallest glimpse of the pink zipper he had stuck inside his nose. it totally freaked me out.
i knew i could not get it out on my own so i waited 10 minutes for kyle to get home. once he got home we got to work. i had to send harper to her room with oliver jack...harper was so worried that she was hysterical. and then i had to hold his nose open and his head still while kyle sat across his belly holding down both his arms and legs. after we secured him, kyle used tweezers to fish out the zipper. i called the doctor and she as so impressed that we managed to do this ourselves and said we should go and buy ourselves a nice dinner...after all, we just saved about 150.00 in doctor's expenses! the zipper was about 1.5 inches long....i waited to post because i wanted to take a picture...but i lost the zipper (thankfully, not up a nose). it was unbelievable how i could not see this monstrous zipper. he had shoved the thing so far up that it was barely visible. thankfully, my little fire walker has not stuck anything else up his nose after that fateful day.

other walk through fire moments:
1. climbed up his dresser at naptime after we have repeatedly asked him not to do so only to pull the entire dresser over. thankfully, no one was harmed.

2. as we tucked the kids in bed one night he said he had to go to the bathroom. we waited in his room for him to return. he was not gone long, but when he returned he had a bloody spot above his lip. he said he didn't know what happened. i kept looking and had an epiphany and asked, "calvary did you try to shave?" he still denied until kyle said he could give him a special medicine if he did...kyle later called him the worst criminal ever because calvary had left the handle of the razor sticking out of the drawer.

the older he gets the trickery he tries to be. he takes advantage of these brief little moments that he is alone and uses them for his experimentation. hopefully, he will outgrow all of this need to figure things out for himself and just trust that mommy and daddy are not trying to keep him from fun...we are trying to save him from the burn.

a thankful heart...

most of the time i try and think of myself as a thankful person. yet, this week i have realized that i have let the hassles of my life slowly creep in and steal away precious gratitude. i am not sure how it first happened, but i think staying home with my children has to be a daily choice. i have to choose to see the squabbles, the ignoring of requests, the lack of sleep, the elevated voices during naptime, the lack of gratitude for my cuisine as something more than what they are...or at least overlook them to see the big picture...
i think that must be it; the big picture.
sometimes being at home makes it impossible (for me) to see the big picture.
my world becomes as small as theirs and soon i let these small little problems in the grand view become enormous views in the microcosmic view of childhood.
oh, it can wear a soul down... :)
the world is bigger. and i have so much for which to be thankful.
i have three beautiful, healthy children who bless me *every* day with joy.
i have a husband that i adore for so many reasons---i feel safe, treasured, loved, and important with him.
i have a mother who proves that motherhood does not end at 18...
i have a father who is exceptionally good at expressing his emotions and is not afraid to let me know that he loves me and misses me.
i have a mother-in-law that treats me like a daughter.
i have a father-in-law that loves his grandkids with all that he has.
i have been given so much, but most importantly i have been given this life. each day that i have wasted with the poison of ingratitude is a day i have lost. i have lost a chance to let the people i love the most know how much they mean to me.
without a doubt, making a list of things for which i am grateful is cliched, and my list is not even difficult to compose...and i am ashamed to admit that i have been in a ungrateful funk...and cliched or not, this thanksgiving God allowed me to see that and for that i am most grateful. :)

oliver jack is 11 months old!!!

list of adorable things he does at 11 months old:

• blows kisses


• hugs (he thinks making the "uumph" sound is hugging)


• gives sloppy open mouth kisses (both harper and calvary puckered up and never did the cutesy open mouth kisses)


• waves backwards (again, a first for me because harper and calvary mastered the proper wave technique and never did the textbook baby wave)


• pretends to go night night


• pretends to talk on the phone


• says "da da" discriminately


• says "ma ma" discriminately


• says something that sounds similar to "jack jack"


• points and grunts to get his point across


• drinks from a straw


• feeds himself pretty well with a spoon


• potty trained...just kidding


• lights up when he sees either his brother or sister for the first time of the day


• plays baby with harper and participates nicely as she forces him to lay down and hold teddy bears and pretend to sleep and eat pretend food and wear baby doll clothes


• smells people's feet and pretends like the stink...watch out if you do not have shoes on because he likes to smell with his mouth.


• puts hats on his head


• plays with cars and balls most of the time


• "reads" books
• barks like a dog
• tweets like a bird

not so cute things he does:

• stalks anyone that goes to the kitchen


• eats twice as much (seriously) as both of my other kids...not when they were his age, but now....he eats twice as much as they do now...


• insatiable hunger makes mealtimes annoying


• if a door is left open, he will find a bathroom and he will play in the toilet.


• thinks "no" is a funny word only meant to encourage the behavior he is doing.

the cute list is definitely longer...so i'll take it :) he is the greatest baby and he is so loved by everyone in this family! what a blessing he is to all of us!

situational irony...

today as i cleaned and reorganized my bookshelves (because that is the logical thing to do when there is laundry piled higher than the fireplace) i found my copy of toddlerwise situated just beside faulkner's as i lay dying.

just when i think i cannot take it anymore...

...i remember that it all starts all over again tomorrow...

not exactly comforting at this moment.

all the mom's (like my mother and kyle's mother) who have raised their kids and watched them go nod their heads knowingly and giggle a sympathetic giggle at this rant...my own mother more than likely felt this way about me and now her giggle is more of one poetic justice served...

today i:

1. took my son for a surprise visit to monkey joe's.
2. bought him a slice of pizza and a blue icee.
3. went down crazy slides with him.
4. picked harper up early from school.
5. watched a movie with her while the boys slept.
6. gave them oreo's and milk for snack.

A+ for me.

i asked them to clean up their own mess in the garage. i expected a "sure greatest mother in the universe" and the reality is that i have heard nothing but screaming and arguing for the past hour...

i did all sorts of nice things for them today and with them today and i cannot even expect them to do ONE thing for me? where is the justice in that?

i escaped to my blog and to remind myself that they are just children and that they are mine and that i love them...

i love them.

(screams in the background)

i love them.

(more screaming)

i love them.

the first night with bunk beds...

so far its been the sweetest sounds:

"thank you mommy for the bunk beds because you helped daddy, too" (calvary)
"yes! thank you! you're the best mommy ever." (harper)

as i sat outside the door listening for mischief:

"night night harper, i love you."
"goodnight calvary. i love you, too."


*i'll let you know if the night ends this sweet*

the truth about tantrums...

the truth about tantrums is that we cannot seem to get a hold of them in our house. the other day i received a babycenter newsletter regarding my three year old and "taming tantrums". i usually do not read these, but this one caught my eye and gave me a glimmer of hope that i may read this one little newsletter and it would change my world forever.

it didn't.

in fact, it did not say anything that i had not read (AND TRIED) from every other book, article, online advice column...i was frustrated because this newsletter offered me hope and only gave me nice sounding words that truly do not amount to anything.
maybe stuff like that has worked for other parents. maybe the super will of calvary is like a mutant gene that is completely resistant to any forms of discipline. kyle and i have tried ignoring the tantrum, removing him from the room, waiting until he was finished with the tantrum and correcting him, taking things away, putting him to bed early, and many other countless methods. we stick with them, too. the most effective method has been ignoring him and removing him from everyone else---i mean, if you are going to have a tantrum i am at least not going to give you an audience.
all of this has had little effect to really reducing the frequency of tantrums.
just the other day i took my brood to wal-mart to pick up a few things i needed. we made it in and out without a hitch. i was feeling quite proud of my little ones and had made the mistake of praising their behavior just hair too soon. harper decided that she would pull calvary's arm as we walked to the car...just something a person shouldn't do when playing with a ticking time bomb...and calvary LOST IT. he was screaming at the top of his lungs (seriously-the tippy top) and swatting. i saw the whole thing and while harper's actions were incredibly annoying, they did not warrant the explosion of angst that we all received.
people stared.
boy, did they stare.
i just walked like they were giggling and laughing and playing with wildflowers. i strapped them in their car and composed my thoughts...both were pleading their cases as to why they were not at fault...i told them that when they got home they could go to their rooms and think about why i was mad at each individual and that when i called them out i would like an answer.
they did it. but who cares? i am not really sure all of this matters in the long run. i am glad i kept my composure, but at the end of the day i am still the crazy lady at wal-mart that has out of control kids.
anyway, calvary's tantrums started before he was even one. i can remember holding him and if he did not get what he wanted or what he was feeling across he would flail his body backwards...i almost, but never did, dropped him on several occasions.
one time he threw an entire plate of spaghetti--he was 13 months old then.
just the other day, kyle told calvary that his 3 minute timeout started once he finished screaming. he continued to scream. kyle repeated himself to make sure he had heard and calvary screamed, "I KNOW WHAT I AM DOING!". about 2 minutes later calvary said calmly from his room, "okay, i am ready for my timeout to start."

what?

so. what we really need is for someone to write us a newsletter with *real* pointers about how to tame tantrums...were tired of just containing them or ignoring them. i need them to end!

at least, in his defense, he is ridiculously cute and sweet when he is not having a tantrum...

loved by choice designs...

if you like cozy t-shirts...

or beautiful handmade journals or photo albums...

or inspiring artwork...

or timeless jewelry...

AND helping a great cause, then please check out my friend traci's website.

traci and her husband adam are in the nearing end of the adoption process! they have been blessed with two beautiful children from taiwan and hopefully they will be home with their family soon.

as anyone who has been involved in the adoption process either directly or indirectly through a friend knows that the prices are incredibly steep. traci decided to use her gift as a talented artist to help raise the funds for her own adoption as well as start aiding others going through the adoption process.

100 % of the proceeds from loved by choice designs goes towards helping people pay for the expenses of adoption! how awesome is that? adoption is traci and adam's first choice for growing their family and i believe that their hearts are such a perfect display of the spirit of adoption. God has given us the perfect model for adoption--he does not *have* to love us---he *chooses* to love us.

http://lovedbychoicedesigns.com/

why do we educate our children?

so, the problem with children learning to read and spell is that they still cannot hear. well, properly.

there are quite a few words that we do not say in front of the kids and have opted to spell instead. the list includes, but is not limited to, the following:

• fat
• kill
• stupid
• candy

for the most part, this list is pretty self explanatory. however, the other night the method failed in the most miserable of all ways.

the actual conversation:

kyle was worried about some steak he just grilled and was asking me if it was too pink. i assured him that the steak was fine and he responded, "that's what you think and all of a sudden i k-i-l-l-e-d my whole family...except for jack." (jack was not eating steak) i laughed.

what harper heard:

harper looked up in horror and asked "why did you just say you would kill your whole family except for jack?!"

kyle, shocked and desperate to assure her that he said no such thing, defended himself. i mean this is one miscommunication that could have drastic social and mental hang ups for a child.

calvary, not nearly as disturbed as harper, explained to harper the "except for jack" part of the conversation was because he was "too fast".

eventually, harper grasped the concept of what was actually said and i think for the moment we are going to take a hiatus from spelling and brush up on our spanish...she's not as good at that. she still thinks her spanish teacher's name, Senor Long, is Cinco Larko...so were safe with the spanish...

guess who has teeth?

that's right. oliver jack has finally taken ownership of those little bulges under his gums! he was having a difficult time sleeping last week and on thursday and friday he was a bit more difficult to get along with...i was constantly checking his gums and on saturday morning i felt the sharp ridges of teeth! he is about a week shy of the 11 month mark and i am hoping that the rest of his teeth do not take as long to actually emerge from the swollen gums...it seems like oliver jack's gums have been swollen for months.

let the festivities begin...

364 days out of the year we beg, command, dare our children to take candy from strangers...but on one magical day, all those words are put aside and the contradictory nature of parenting emerges as we not only allow strangers to give our children candy, but we encourage it. i never really thought it would feel as much like peddling as it did. i dressed my children up in their selected costumes and gently led them to the doorsteps of the selected houses and instructed them to beg for candy. it felt so wrong. but boy were they happy. we avoid the nighttime displays of trickery and scary and opt only for daytime festivities and the kids could hardly contain their excitement. i kept warning them that the weather might not cooperate but except for a few showers the rain held off. unfortunately, i did not get anywhere near enough pictures.
calvary dressed as a transformer, or bumblebee to be specific. he was so proud.
harper, for whatever reason, picked to be a doctor. the world was hers and she picked a doctor. maybe she has set her goals early.
as always, harper and calvary failed to disappoint as we walked from house to house. both were quick to inform that calvary could not have peanuts and then calvary would also chime in, "and i don't like almonds!" i guess when it comes to trick or treating beggars can be choosers.

my favorite part of the night was when we walked up to a house and the lady had her datsun tethered to a stake to enjoy the company. harper, overjoyed, asked if she could pet it. the lady told her that she could pet the small dog because she wouldn't bite to which calvary replied, "i can't pet cats."

the real question is how is halloween candy to be moderated? i think i have come up with the simple solution of 1 piece per day. at that rate we should not have to buy any candy or treats until well into next year.

and while calvary's jazz hands and jack's carnage from his daily living room ransack are humorous enough, the faces in the background are the real reason i have included this picture.

harper dressed as little bo peep for school on wednesday. i was a little disappointed that she did not choose to wear this costume for halloween as well...but i am just here to support her choices...and little did we know how handy that mask would be in the following days....

this is what my life has come to...

is it a bad sign if i look forward to going to the gynecologist as a break?

mother goose pales in comparison...

harper has been studying nursery rhymes at school this month and every day she comes home reciting a new one that she has learned. it has been entertaining to listen to her recite memories of my past but even more fun to listen to her botch the classics that have helped shaped so many childhoods.
in all of this, calvary simply thinks that harper is making up little rhymes and he always wants to play along.
on the way to school this morning, harper recited, "humpty dumpty sat on a wall. humpty dumpty had a great fall. all of the horses and men that work for the king couldn't fix humpty because he is an egg."
i laughed.
then calvary, not to be outdone by a goose, offered his own nursery rhyme:
"there once was an eyeball that sat in a tree. he fell off and broke his knee."
i laughed.
i only hope that they have children that are this funny one day.

weird things i have done (or do) while my kids nap...

i have a one and a half hour block in the afternoon after lunch and before i have to leave to pick harper up from school...somedays calvary and oliver jack nap the entire time and other times my break is cut short, but regardless...that time is precious. as i sat in my car today eating an apple, i wondered how many odd things i have done while my children have slept. the list below is undoubtably short--

1. take showers with every electronic noise making machine within arms reach.

2. attack all fed-ex, ups, us postal service, and sales people before they dare ring that doorbell.

3. clean. just joking. i don't do that. which is probably weird since it is really the only time i have to fully commit to cleaning.

4. do silent yoga. between knees cracking and my less than limber body being comprised into expletive inducing positions, this is actually harder than one might think.

5. blog about weird things i do while my kids sleep.

6. sit. without moving. without thinking. without doing...anything.

7. jump on the trampoline. it is fun and it is good exercise.

8. talk on the phone in my car. quiet AND warm.

9. fill up multiple shopping carts online which i never intend to purchase.

10. eat junk food. no better time really. there is no need to share and i can feign healthy choices for my kids later...win win.

oliver jack is 10 months old!

the tenth month has been an eventful one. we have finally purchased baby gates (and the voice of dr. w. echoes in my head as she says, "good parenting doesn't require baby gates") and our lives are so much easier. he isn't walking yet but he is fast and quite capable of getting himself into trouble. baby gates just allow me the time to clean my house without having to save oliver jack from pulling a chair down on his head, throwing toy pizza into the toilet, or eating various toy dresses, shoes, or army men. sigh. life with three children is certainly fast...

he has changed so much in the past month. i decided to trim the point of hair once it made its way to the middle of his eyebrows...i also trimmed the hair off the back of his neck because it was beginning to look a bit mulletish and i am just not ready to go there...not even for cute baby hair.

he has started doing tricks like playing "night-night" and patty cake. he gives high fives and kisses. and he gets quite proud of himself whenever he accomplishes anything. he loves to put food in his hair and as fast paced as he is, he sure loves to cuddle.

i cannot believe that in only 2 months he will be one year old! everything about this boy has been pleasant. and i am patiently awaiting what the future will bring.

making the world better one baby at a time :)

my friend lori just posted the trailer to the movie "motherhood" on her blog, http://www.anewjackson.blogspot.com/, and i just found myself so revealed. maybe it is the fact that uma's character looks tousled and frazzled, or maybe it is the fact that she is trying so hard to balance the expectations of her children with the expectations of the rest of the world, or maybe it is how, in that brief 2 minutes, she manages to capture the impossible love of a mother in such a profound way that i am almost scared to see the movie.
who was i before i was a mother? i'm pretty sure that my former self would not recognize the person i am now---for better or worse.
i used to dream of being a writer; now, this blog is all that i write--mostly about parenting.
i used to dream of being an artist; now, every creative thing i do is rooted in my children.
i used to dream of traveling all over the world; now, the only traveling i do is back and forth to schools, doctor's appointments, soccer games, church, grocery stores, parks, and dance classes.

the crazy thing about all of my past dreams and aspirations is that i feel like i should miss it or feel like i am half of a person or feel like i have left some part of me unfulfilled, but i don't. motherhood has not limited my dreams; it has only changed my inspiration. if my children can look back on what i have written and know with certainty that i love them-if they treasure the things that i have made for them because they know that my hands only wished to make tangible my adoration of them-if they find their passion in school or dance or soccer or wherever my humble vehicle takes them then i can think of no greater sense of fulfillment.

i used to say that unless a person has a farm, then there is no need to have more than two children. perhaps the sane side, or the side that likes to take showers or wear clothes that aren't stretchy, still believes that. but mostly, i realize how much God has blessed us with children. watching the faith of my children reminds me that their is hope for this world. with every child that is born in the world we are given the gift of the chance to start anew. they are not perfect, nor are they born that way, but we are given the gift to focus on God and to teach our children that our purpose is not to write, or play sports, or be a mom, but to use these gifts as a way to bring glory to Him. harper believes that when she prays that her fever goes away, or that grandmommy feels better, or calvary suddenly whisks away to the north pole that God hears her prayers. calvary believes that God put the moon in the sky to follow him wherever he goes to make sure he can see. somewhere along the way i have forgotten how intimately God cares for me. my children are a reminder that as intimately as i care for my own children God cares for each of us infinitely more intimately. and i pray that i can help my children not lose sight of that ultimate intimacy....

quirky or just weird?

our conversation this morning at breakfast--

me: calvary, why were you in harper's room last night while she was sleeping?

calvary: i was covering her up.

me: well, that was sweet.

harper (giggling) : i didn't even see you in there!

calvary: did you even feel me touching your hair?

a quart low...

after we returned from georgia calvary developed a high fever and an attitude. i called the doctor and i was instructed to bring him in as soon as i could. once i got him there, dr. walker immediately told me that they had hand foot and mouth disease. i think i audibly voiced my shock by saying, "really?" she then showed me the spots that were developing on the palms of his hands and the blisters in his throat. i left thinking that life would return to normal in the next few hours. boy was i wrong. everyone i had ever spoken to about hfm said that it was a pretty inconsequential illness...harper had the same spots on her throat and was unfazed by it for the most part. enter calvary.
every waking moment...literally...was miserable. he refused to eat or drink because of the blisters on his cheeks, tongue, and throat. all of this led to our arrival at the hospital on friday evening. he had gone 21 hours without peeing.
at this point i realized that my congratulations for staying dry through the night were a bit near sighted. he hadn't really accomplished anything outside of demonstrating an iron will to starve himself to the point of dehydration.
i'm impressed.
and mad.
once we arrived at the hospital he was hooked up to an IV and given an entire bag of fluid. he didn't make a peep except for the occasionally flirtatious giggle at the nurses the entire time they stuck his teeny arm....but the minute they brought in a popsicle and medicine they saw the crazy side.


calvary's eyes in this picture shows just how listless he had become...i called my ped this afternoon and said i must be a terrible mother to have let my child go 21 hours without peeing and not realize he was dehydrated...she assured me that since he had only taken one bag of fluid that he was "just a quart low"...

this picture shows how quickly the loratab and fluids worked to improve his demeanor and spark. at this point i thought we were smooth sailing...

once again...i knew nothing.

the weekend was nothing short of misery. every meal. every nap. every night was a battle. we weren't going to fill the prescription for loratab because i thought that it was a bit too heavy for such a little boy, but by saturday afternoon we were at our wits ends. we headed off to target and were ready to give him his first dose in the parking lot. he screamed. he spit. he took the medicine. we looked forward to a nice nap but loratab seems to have the opposite effect on calvary; needless to say, he has not been given another dose.

this is how calvary spent saturday. the grin is only a sinister, sadistic display of his satisfaction with the misery he put us through. i think. i thought he was stuck that way forever. i was buckling myself in for the long haul and then on monday morning he did something pure. he smiled. a sweet, pure smile crawled across his face and it wasn't until that moment that i realized that i had not seen that smile in a week. monday was riddled with outbreaks of madness...but tuesday has been better. i would have never thought i would hate a childhood illness so much. i can handle quite a bit but this little illness truly kicked my behind.

calvary at the hospital

progress...

yesterday i squeezed myself into my size 6 jeans. squeezed is the word of truth but also a word to which i will pay little attention. sure, i could barely move. sure, the flesh of my belly looked like a tucked in shirt slightly fluffed out. but these jeans now represent hope to me. hope that bodies, while they may not be taught or bikini ready, can return to some state of normalcy. in the meanwhile, i am taking on the french mindset that mireille guiliano discusses in her book. i've got beautiful babies and i rarely notice the weight of other people, yet somehow i maintain a fixation on my own. it's time to free myself from the expectation...i mean i can "wear" a size 6 now :)

on my mind...

merriwether's very literal interpretation of "hay ride".

harper, merriwether, and calvary on the much anticipated hay ride.

merriwether, harper, and calvary outside of poole's.

harper, merriwether, and calvary with the man himself, oscar poole.

the "pig hill of fame"

this weekend we took a trip to georgia. harper had a few extra days off of school so we headed down on friday and did not make it home until after 10 on sunday. it was probably the most action the kids, and i, have had since we went to the beach in july. we are usually MUCH more low key, but it is fun to splurge on excitement every once in a while...

jacob had plans from before we even arrived until we left...i know that must have been taxing, but he handled the crazy extra amount of people and excitement with composure...i don't think i could have done the same. some people are planners and others are not. i'm not.

my favorite part of the weekend was a visit to poole's barbecue in ellijay, ga. i know that i can not rightfully describe the experience that a person has once arriving; pictures do not even do it justice. all i can say is that there is no place like it in the world.

harper's favorite part was visiting the pumpkin patch. the pumpkin's were huge...

calvary's favorite part was the hay ride. and playing on the stair's banister with his blanket and grandad.

kyle's favorite part was visiting a restaurant in chattanooga called the good dog.

oliver jack's favorite part was not being subjected to 7 hours of car riding and long, napless days. he stayed with nana and poppa and had the time of his life. of course i missed him terribly. it was the longest, by far, that we have been away from him since birth. i still think he is a little mad at me for abandoning him. maybe that is just my own guilt. right now he is punishing me by crying in his crib instead of taking a nap...

i'll take him next time.

hunter filled the void while i was away from oliver jack. he is such a sweet and cuddly little boy and he let me hold him as long as my arms could stand it! merriwether was also a joy to be around. i can still here her sweet voice tell me, "no, tassie, no. it is not naptime anymore." how different would my life be if my name was indeed tassie...