Monday, November 30, 2009

a thankful heart...

most of the time i try and think of myself as a thankful person. yet, this week i have realized that i have let the hassles of my life slowly creep in and steal away precious gratitude. i am not sure how it first happened, but i think staying home with my children has to be a daily choice. i have to choose to see the squabbles, the ignoring of requests, the lack of sleep, the elevated voices during naptime, the lack of gratitude for my cuisine as something more than what they are...or at least overlook them to see the big picture...
i think that must be it; the big picture.
sometimes being at home makes it impossible (for me) to see the big picture.
my world becomes as small as theirs and soon i let these small little problems in the grand view become enormous views in the microcosmic view of childhood.
oh, it can wear a soul down... :)
the world is bigger. and i have so much for which to be thankful.
i have three beautiful, healthy children who bless me *every* day with joy.
i have a husband that i adore for so many reasons---i feel safe, treasured, loved, and important with him.
i have a mother who proves that motherhood does not end at 18...
i have a father who is exceptionally good at expressing his emotions and is not afraid to let me know that he loves me and misses me.
i have a mother-in-law that treats me like a daughter.
i have a father-in-law that loves his grandkids with all that he has.
i have been given so much, but most importantly i have been given this life. each day that i have wasted with the poison of ingratitude is a day i have lost. i have lost a chance to let the people i love the most know how much they mean to me.
without a doubt, making a list of things for which i am grateful is cliched, and my list is not even difficult to compose...and i am ashamed to admit that i have been in a ungrateful funk...and cliched or not, this thanksgiving God allowed me to see that and for that i am most grateful. :)

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