the truth about tantrums...

the truth about tantrums is that we cannot seem to get a hold of them in our house. the other day i received a babycenter newsletter regarding my three year old and "taming tantrums". i usually do not read these, but this one caught my eye and gave me a glimmer of hope that i may read this one little newsletter and it would change my world forever.

it didn't.

in fact, it did not say anything that i had not read (AND TRIED) from every other book, article, online advice column...i was frustrated because this newsletter offered me hope and only gave me nice sounding words that truly do not amount to anything.
maybe stuff like that has worked for other parents. maybe the super will of calvary is like a mutant gene that is completely resistant to any forms of discipline. kyle and i have tried ignoring the tantrum, removing him from the room, waiting until he was finished with the tantrum and correcting him, taking things away, putting him to bed early, and many other countless methods. we stick with them, too. the most effective method has been ignoring him and removing him from everyone else---i mean, if you are going to have a tantrum i am at least not going to give you an audience.
all of this has had little effect to really reducing the frequency of tantrums.
just the other day i took my brood to wal-mart to pick up a few things i needed. we made it in and out without a hitch. i was feeling quite proud of my little ones and had made the mistake of praising their behavior just hair too soon. harper decided that she would pull calvary's arm as we walked to the car...just something a person shouldn't do when playing with a ticking time bomb...and calvary LOST IT. he was screaming at the top of his lungs (seriously-the tippy top) and swatting. i saw the whole thing and while harper's actions were incredibly annoying, they did not warrant the explosion of angst that we all received.
people stared.
boy, did they stare.
i just walked like they were giggling and laughing and playing with wildflowers. i strapped them in their car and composed my thoughts...both were pleading their cases as to why they were not at fault...i told them that when they got home they could go to their rooms and think about why i was mad at each individual and that when i called them out i would like an answer.
they did it. but who cares? i am not really sure all of this matters in the long run. i am glad i kept my composure, but at the end of the day i am still the crazy lady at wal-mart that has out of control kids.
anyway, calvary's tantrums started before he was even one. i can remember holding him and if he did not get what he wanted or what he was feeling across he would flail his body backwards...i almost, but never did, dropped him on several occasions.
one time he threw an entire plate of spaghetti--he was 13 months old then.
just the other day, kyle told calvary that his 3 minute timeout started once he finished screaming. he continued to scream. kyle repeated himself to make sure he had heard and calvary screamed, "I KNOW WHAT I AM DOING!". about 2 minutes later calvary said calmly from his room, "okay, i am ready for my timeout to start."

what?

so. what we really need is for someone to write us a newsletter with *real* pointers about how to tame tantrums...were tired of just containing them or ignoring them. i need them to end!

at least, in his defense, he is ridiculously cute and sweet when he is not having a tantrum...