The Murray Family: situational irony...

today as i cleaned and reorganized my bookshelves (because that is the logical thing to do when there is laundry piled higher than the fireplace) i found my copy of toddlerwise situated just beside faulkner's as i lay dying.

Harper-isms

"sorry; i was having technical difficulties." (harper's explanation of why it took her so long in the bathroom. apparently her stall was out of toilet paper and she had to crawl under the neighboring stall and get some.)
"i haven't seen one of those in years!" (harper's reaction to seeing a man smoking a pipe outside of a store the other day)
"she is a gallon of milk and 2 inches." (harper explaining how big her baby is.)
"yea we couldn't find milk here because you can't buy milk in places that have carpet." (harper explaining to kyle why he couldn't buy milk at the dollar store...never thought about it before, but so true...)
"tell him to get us something to drink." (harper's request when kyle was playing with the voice activated controls in the car)
"i am working on some work over here and it is like...death."
"when i grow up i want to get a job first, then get married, and then have a baby. then i will quit working and make my husband get a job. but i don't want a *real* job. i just want to *teach* or something..."
"he is not my boyfriend or my friend anymore because he smiles at me *every* minute and it is so aggravating."
"that is exactly why you do not let go of a child in the ocean!" (harper after a wave went over her head)
"my hoof is coming off the back of my shoe."
"paint folish" (sadly this one is no longer used...harper can now correctly say nail polish but i felt the need to record this so we did not forget.)
"God did not send Jesus for us...he sent Jesus to a dying cross...what kind of daddy would do that?!"
"well when they were first born they were krack babies." ( harper explaining that two brothers [the kratt brothers] were once babies)
"does jack jack have any sense of humor?" ( a completely out-of-the-blue question by harper)
"the sun is in my shirt." (harper explaining to me that she did not need to wear her sweater because she was too warm.)
"i learned something today. pinecones do NOT taste good."
"read to me about the god of israel."
"mommy what does this say?" (me) "gooliopeel?" (harper) "yep, that is french for pickle."
"alas, i shall perish without it"
"you smell like poop....seriously" (harper's comment to kyle after a long day at work :)
"I've been sick for 40 days and 40 nights!"
"Look at all that road!" (harper describing a local housing development)
"Let's just hug forever."
"My mommy is not pretty!" (harper's response to my students' continued comments on how i looked that evening...any warm feelings they brought were turned biting cold with her exclamation!)
"I want to get a present for Katie so that Dad can take it to her in heaven."
"Boys do not have hearts!" ( when i told Harper that she broke Kyle's heart )
"Calvary has goop" ( her explanation of Calvary's croup)
"I love cheating" (she thinks cheating is icing because Kyle told her "that's cheating" when she kept sticking her finger in the icing.)

Calvary-isms

"i miss harper already" (calvary when we drop harper off and we are not even out of the parking lot yet)
"cows only have 1 boobie...but they have LOTS of squeezers!"
"mom we need to get a shack for our house" (calvary's interpretation of a shed)
"that's not daddy. that's an old man!" (calvary insulting a slightly older man at the grocery store)
"i might fall and break my crown!" (or any variation of assorted people and moments falling and breaking their "crown")
"oh boogers!" (likens to most people saying 'oh man!')
"poof! what do you need?" ( a perfectly timed aladdin reference when i called his name)
"soup is hard to catch"
"look! i found a grandaddy big legs!"
"i'm not freezing" (calvary's response when he does not have to go potty...were still trying to figure out what "freezing" means)
"is that movie epic?"
"(in a whiney voice) i need teamwork!"
"i wanted to decoration it"
"i could do that all day" (calvary's way of saying that he likes something)
"the lady in the sky said something about broccoli!" (calvary at the grocery store)
"daddy, this car doesn't have anywhere to 'err'!" (kyle was playing cars and making sound effects for cars stopping in a garage"
"i want to have a napover."
"you're my sweetie pie, mommy"
"i got under-way-er"
"its fine." ( his response when he breaks anything....)
"just nothing."
"It's spicy!" (in regards to his bottom being wiped when he has a diaper rash")
"I want to play in the water hose" ( said about any body of water, namely pools)
"Oh Man!""
"i have a headache" ( said as he rubs his forehead at dinner one night )
"you stinky!" (a little girl told her mother that she didn't like calvary because he was a little boy and i said 'don't worry about it calvary. she is just a stinkin' girl. calvary then turned and shouted this laughing at the little girl!)
"I happy!"
"Where sissy go!?" (calvary's response any time that harper is not nearby)
"I Man-Truck" (his new response when you ask if he is a baby...)
"I Man" ( when i asked where my baby boy was, he responded with this )

Oliver Jack-isms

"don't you think upstairs is messy?" (his not so subtle hint that we need to clean up the playroom)
"thorns are good fighters."
"you can either get me batteries for my leap pad or get me and ipod like harper and calvary" (an example of oliver jack's new understanding of bargaining and ultimatums)
"actually..."
"nevermind"
"you need me help you put hot on it" (on lighting calvary's birthday candles)
"i love dat baby"
"my job is batman"
"i don't hate her" (oliver jack's way of saying he loves her)
"yep, yep, yep!"
"snack!"
"(shaking head) no! no! no!"
"har....per..."

The Murray Family

Friday, November 20, 2009

situational irony...

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