Tuesday, December 18, 2012

happy birthday oliver jack...

 
this boy turns 4 years old tomorrow. 
i've spent the day reflecting on the boy he is becoming and all the many, many reasons that i am sad to see this year go.  but mostly i am just so happy to have him in my life.  he plays hard to get and tries to be so tough but more than any of my children he loves to hear me tell him how proud i am of him and how brave, courageous, smart, and kind he is. 
as i tuck him in at night i often go through the list of my most favorite attributes and every time i finish he smiles so big and says, "do it again, mommy."  and i do.  mostly because he lets me kiss his cheeks as long as i am telling him how great he is in the meantime :)
no one is surprised by his antics; he is pretty renowned for his exuberant charm.  in fact, one picture that jacob took shortly before the one i used here in the blog is one where oliver jack dropped his pants.  he will stop just short of nothing to make someone laugh.  this is the side of jack that most people see. 
but the oliver jack that i have watched develop over the last year has been so tender and sweet that i feel a little like i am exposing a lot more than he did when he dropped his pants when i even mention it.  he guards his sweet side a little more but its there.    his feelings are hurt easily and he loves his brother and sisters so much. 
i have a twinge of sadness each time he says, "calvary says he wants to play with me so can you tie my shoes so i can go play?"  he is always waiting for the green light with calvary.  i love watching how they have grown so close over the past few months.  calvary went from hardly being able to be in the same room with oliver jack to relying on him as his primary playmate.  part of this i believe is because oliver jack has taught calvary how to play.  everything that is difficult for calvary is completely natural for oliver jack. 
harper is his greatest accomplice.  he is willing to do everything that harper always thinks will be super funny but knows that she shouldn't do.  oliver jack is harper without reservation.  harper cares a little more about doing what is "right" where oliver jack cares a little more about making people laugh.  if the number of people who will laugh outnumbers the people who will be mad it is without question that the deed will be done.  and he knows he can always count on harper to laugh.  it is no wonder that he cries if she is not tucked in bed beside him at night.  he loves her companionship.  most nights he doesn't say a word.  he just quietly lays in his bed beside hers while she reads.  eventually he drifts off to sleep.  other nights, the two of them conspire together to torture calvary in the neighboring room.  somehow, harper is always just over the edge of her bed and under the sheets when kyle and i arrive at their doorway leaving oliver jack with symbolically red hands in the middle of the room. i am scared to think of what antics they will come up with in the future and slightly scared to think of what all has already happened without my knowledge but beyond that i am just blissfully in love with how much they enjoy each other's friendship.
finley is his greatest fan.  she loves him.  she goes to sleep saying that she is "harper's baby" but wakes up asking for  her "jackie".  he treats her like she is made of glass and for the most part spoils her far more than any of the rest of us could ever dream.  i say "for the most part" because lately he has taken to pushing her buttons a little more.  i love watching him love her because i know that when he, one day far from now, has a wife he will treat her with precious chivalry. 
in all these ways he reminds me of my father.  i feel like i have been given such a precious gift in knowing that my son is so much like my father, whom i admire so greatly.  there is not much that could make me prouder. 
oh, oliver jack...ever since the moment you were placed on my chest only to immediately pee in my face i should have known that my life with you would be exhilarating...but for some reason i am always surprised by you...
but i am never surprised by how much i love you...i love you. 
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Friday, December 14, 2012

friday's musings...

things i am loving about this week:

i almost didn't write this list...in fact, it is technically not even friday anymore.  i just feel so sad. but i feel in that way it is much more necessary...

  1. oliver jack and finley sleeping in my bed together facing each other and dreaming.  they are completely oblivious to the evil in the world and it does my heart good knowing that they are safe. 
  2. betty crocker gluten free cake mix that makes it so much easier for last minute gluten free cupcake needs.
  3. the birthday party that calvary is going to tomorrow.  i pray that it goes well...he is so excited that it makes me both happy and sad.
  4. chicken and waffles.  i have never had it before but i saw a recipe on pinterest and i decided to try it...i was excited all day and it wasn't disappointing :)
  5. kyle taking off work 2 days this week. 
  6. homeschooling...so many reasons...
  7. calvary telling me, "i am glad you homeschool me."
  8. walking to the park...even though it was over 1.5miles one way...it was fun exploring our road and watching the kids talk to the cows and horses. 
  9. finley saying, "i just love that baby cow so much."
  10. collecting food for the food bank with my kids.  we have been so blessed...and i don't say that in a way that insinuates that we have so much but actually to say that we have been given and provided for in ways that we could never have done so on our own that i am just so overwhelmed with gratitude that my heart just desires to bless others. 
  11. gifts that remind me that God is going to take care of us. 
  12. finley crying this morning as she woke up because kyle's back was to her and she cryingly said, "daddy! i can't see your big ol' face."
  13. oliver jack crying for me when he was hurt and i was grocery shopping with harper.  he plays coy with me but moments like this remind me that he loves me.
  14. grocery shopping with harper. 
  15. calvary styling his hair.

Lord, i just pray for those families...what was taken from them today... i have no way of comprehending how to deal with such a loss...i pray for peace.

Friday, December 7, 2012

friday's musings...

things i am loving about this week:

  1. oliver jack dressing finley.  he is so sweet as he puts her shoes on and picks out (absurd) clothes for her to wear.  with each item she puts on she looks at him and asks, "do i look pretty?"...to which he replies, "always".  melt my heart...
  2. elf on the shelf antics.
  3. my weekly bible study.  i love having a chance to get out of the house and spend some time with other women who are in the trenches...whatever their trenches may be (work, family, motherhood) it is refreshing to have a few moments/hours to remember that the world really isn't on my shoulders.
  4.  harper saving money and being really excited about a purchase she is making rather than blowing it all on candy...like i do.
  5. candy.
  6. oliver jack snuggles.  he was always the sweetest little baby and now, as he nears his 4th birthday, i am seeing him finally slow down enough to give me a glimpse of that sweetness that once was.
  7. calvary giving harper the last .23 cents that she needed to buy the beloved cupcake maker without any prompting from anyone else...moments of thoughtfulness like this are very rare for him...not an area of strength for most people with asperger's
  8. not having as much disposable income...no really...sometimes i hate it...but this week i am loving that i am having to be more creative with gift giving as well as focus on what really matters.  we really have so much...and even though i wish i could give each of my kids everything that they want, i know that they are in homes filled with love and have all of their needs met.  there are many, many children that desperately want what i have provided. 
  9. making my children happy with silly christmas activities.
  10. calvary being invited to a birthday party for his best friend from kindergarten.  i think it will do his little heart such good to know that he has not been forgotten...
  11. harper's friend bria...she is quirky and smart...so much like harper...just a little more of a tomboy.
  12. the break from gymnastics and tae kwon do...it has been nice not having to rush from dinner to activity and break up our evenings with kyle.
  13. kyle taking it upon himself to create and execute an elf on the shelf antic...he loves watching them laugh.
  14. pulling into the garage last night, kyle greeted us at the door.  upon seeing his face finley started screaming, "GET ME OUT OF HERE!".  she just couldn't wait to get out of the seat and into her daddy's arms. 
  15. upcoming christmas break.  i am so excited about not having to do lesson plans or worry about quizzes and tests.
  16. i thought last night how grateful i am to have a husband that not only supports me staying at home and educating our children but also assists me in any way that he possibly can.  i am not sure it would make sense financially for me to work seeing how i would have to find daycare and after school care for 4 children...but he carries a heavy load.  financially providing for our family is something that i am quite sure he thinks of multiple times a day. 
  17. i am so in love with kyle.