finding balance...

it is no secret that housework usually falls victim to neglect in this household and i have struggled with finding the balance between doing the things i really want to do (make memories with my family) and the things that need to be done (laundry, dishes, toilets...).  over the years i have developed many fad-type solutions that start strong and quickly fade away into failure.  and then there i am.  standing in a sea of filth with happy children.  their happiness dissolves once their dear old mom loses it as i stare at an enormous pile of laundry that seems insurmountable.  the living areas begin to implode because even though my children have absolutely no qualms with creating enormous messes they refuse to play in that mess.  they only like rooms that have the maximum potential for destruction.
after doing a personality study at a professional development seminar while i was teaching i learned so much about my personality and why it was sometimes difficult for me to be understood by my principal...you see i, myself and an art teacher were the ONLY teachers in the entire high school that had a type I personality.  better yet, the head of my department also happened to be my principal and she had a type C personality.  i learned that day that type I personalities drove type C people crazy.  awesome.  anyway, that's for a whole other post.
but in learning about my personality i realized why i struggled so much with housework. 
according to chris witt's (speaker, coach, author) a person with type I personality at their best can*:

• communicate a vision, mission or goal, in a way that inspires others to adopt it and work toward achieving it
• be enthusiastic and creative
• see the best in others and help them to believe in their abilities

most of these characteristics lend themselves awesomely to one side of being a great parent and teacher.  i love to do things in a new and exciting way.  and there are only so many ways that you can clean a toilet and none of those ways are inspiring. 
witt goes on to say that at a type I's worst they can*:

• shirk your homework, relying on your ability to talk your way out of any trouble.
• lack follow--through rarely finishing what you begin
• be superficial and glib

well then.  i am most resistant to hold on to the concept of being superficial and glib but seeing how the other two are spot on for me i am sadly beginning the think that the reality is that i most be both.  lack of follow and shirking other responsibilities that seem mundane are exactly the reasons why i struggle so much with the maintenance side of being a great parent and teacher.  i would much rather build a train track then fold laundry and i would much rather discuss a great novel then write lesson plans.  but all of it needs to be done. 

as a proactive means of self-improvement witt offers ways to help be at my best*:

• develop time management skills
• listen. question. pause. consider.
• be more discriminating.  learn how to appraise people more realistically.
• resist the urge to do something new.  rein in your impulses.

basically all of my fad moments of genius were just tell-tale type I moments.  i thought in those moments i was overcoming all of my personality flaws and becoming the best mommy/housewife the world had ever seen.  not so. 
since i started to realize my own shortcomings as it comes to this side of maintenance and order i have started to rely on others for guidance.  i have taken bits and pieces of realistic genius and added it to my own life and the results have been magical (a bit of drama makes this subject a little less boring).  developing time management skills was an overwhelming concept for me so i am grateful that it is something in which other people are gifted. 
so here is my list of borrowed house maintenance tips that have become of treasure trove of sanity for my home. 

1. NO TOYS DOWNSTAIRS.  this one comes from christy.  it looks differently in her house because her rule is no toys in the living room/kitchen.  but the heart of the law is that to have a functioning home kid stuff cannot completely take over.  it is easier to maintain their mess if it is limited to a certain area.  of course we let this rule slide when friends are over or for special circumstances, but for the most part my downstairs keeps a certain level of clutter free wonderfulness that no one complains. 
2. NEVER GO TO BED WITH DISHES IN THE SINK.  this one comes from alli.  this has really been an easy  way to truly start each day fresh.  there is nothing worse than having to deal with yesterday's dirty dishes first thing in the morning. 
3. ONLY WASH WHAT WILL BE DRIED AND PUT AWAY.  this one comes from christy too and it has saved my laundry life.  i used to be victim of washing every load and piling it in a corner until i had time to fold and put away.  but now i feel like i get more laundry done and i never have piles of clean clothes cluttering up my bedroom. 
4. CLEAN ONE EXTRA ROOM A DAY.  this is my own.  but it has actually worked for me.  instead of trying to clean every room one day i work at maintaining the common rooms like the bonus room and the kitchen and then each night i try and clean one other room...like our bathroom or the kids bathroom. 
5. MAKE THE BEDS.  this one comes from my mom.  she always had us make our beds or she made them and i never really understood the need for that.  but it is such a simple way to make things feel tidy.  and i love tidy. 

my house work list of commandments, although borrowed and amended, have made it to where i am rarely facing the stress of anxiety of preparing for a visit.  i am not embarrassed to have someone unexpectedly show up.  and as a whole we are happier and coincidentally able to spend more time together...

i definitely welcome any other  ideas for house maintenance simplicity...Lord knows i can't really come up with them on my own.



*http://www.wittcom.com/DISC_I_personality.htm