oliver jack vs. the potty part 2...

i honestly have not invested too much into the thought of jack going potty because i have not been ready to put the work into that task. i felt like he was going to be a tough case to crack because he is too 1) busy 2) stubborn 3) just plain aggravating. however, the week before we left for the beach he developed a terrible case of diaper rash. i figured that all of the fruit that we have been eating this summer was rough on his little belly and his bum payed the price. he just screamed and cried every time i needed to clean him up and at this point i started to reason with him. i told him that if he would wear underwear and go to the potty his bottom would not hurt anymore.

yep. i blamed the diapers.

i told my baby boy (who evidently is not really a baby anymore) that the diapers were mean and dirty and that they were hurting his bum.

that was the last time that he wore a diaper (except for sleeping at night).

now, that does not mean that we were without...umm...setbacks. in fact, i joked with kyle that for the first week i feared that we had only accomplished "house breaking" instead of "potty training".

oliver jack refused to go in a potty. instead he insisted on running outside and pulling down his pants and doing his business wherever he stopped. this usually was in plain view of the neighbors. but at least we were not wearing diapers. in fact, the first time he actually used a potty was at our first stop on the way to the beach.

he never had an accident at the pool, beach, or any time that we were out. that poor house took a beating. but outside the house remained unscathed by toddler fodder.

i do believe that it is safe to say that oliver jack now has ventured from diapers, to house broken, to officially potty trained in a matter of 2 weeks.

i feel i owe him an apology for expecting it to be a bit more difficult. but i will wait to give him that when he's changing my diapers one day.

my prayer tonight...

psalm 127:3 "children are a gift from God; they are a reward from Him"

Lord, i am humbled by your grace. i am humbled by the ways you have provided for our family. i feel ashamed of the ways that i have grieved you. i acknowledge how i deserve nothing that i have and honestly sometimes i fear that which i deserve. what a huge responsibility it is to be a parent. i feel inadequate but i know that your hand is on them. i know this because i have asked you to cover them and now i am asking it again. Lord, i give my children to you. i ask that you protect them in all the ways that i cannot. i pray that their hearts will be sealed and consecrated to you. i pray that they find freedom and joy in serving you. i ask that my heart will be evident to them. i pray that i can teach them to be responsible. i pray that i can show them how to love. i pray that i am the mother that you have called me to be.

tonight i am thankful for kyle, harper, calvary, oliver jack, and finley. i am thankful for family and good friends. i am thankful for kyle's job and how dedicated he is to being a provider for our family. i am thankful for our home and community. i am thankful to be part of a precious church family that inspires me. i am thankful for the joy that comes through the acceptance of God's forgiveness. i am thankful for summer storms. i am thankful for life.

my heart is so full of gratitude for the blessings in my life. i know that i have done nothing to deserve the joy in my life and that makes me even more in awe of your love. only you. thank you for each day. i pray that i make each one full.

the babiest baby is 1!!!

it was bound to happen someday and that day has finally arrived. the day that i no longer have an infant has come and gone. and even though the newest toddler in our home is far from actually toddling the truth is that we do indeed have a toddler on our hands. finley rose is now one.

we celebrated her birthday at the beach and to be honest i was a bit sad that i could not share this day with my family as i have shared it with my family with all of my other children. my in laws reserved the dates without realizing that the week they had chosen encompassed her birthday. i was still a little sad that my parents were not able to be there with us and i know that they were disappointed as well but really my sadness has more to do with the fact that my babies are growing up.

and although so many like to contest it, finley is the final chapter on my baby raising days. at least as far as we have planned. i put that little disclaimer in so in case something unexpected happens one day. :) i have mixed feelings about the finality of it all. part of me is excited to move forward; i am tired of waiting for naps and changing diapers. the other part of me longs to feel their weight in my arms forever. but regardless of how i feel about it i have to face the truth that infancy is over.

i feel like we celebrated the end with a great baby. she has been my most content child and i will forever be grateful to God that He has heard my prayers and given me a child with a gentle spirit. she is wonderful.

even though she doesn't walk.

or talk.

even though she has crazy hair.

and even crazier teeth.

even though she is absolutely rotten.

she is precious.

i am thankful that she is my fourth because if she was my first i would have been worried. i would have worried that she wasn't growing. i would have worried that she wasn't walking or talking. i would have been watching for every milestone. i would have been waiting for every phase to end. but i have just watched her. i have relished all the snuggles. i have delighted in her. even today as the doctor examined her and gave me some advice on how to encourage her to get moving i simply smiled and said "okay" knowing that just as finley is content with just being i am content with her.

she is changing more everyday and i know that the days of her not walking are coming quickly to an end. i choose to embrace these moments.

harper at 1

28 1/4 inches

19lbs 7 0z

calvary at 1

29 1/2 inches

20lbs 6.5 oz

oliver jack at 1

29 1/2 inches

23 lbs

finley at 1

27 inches
17 lbs

home.

we spent last week at the beach and i have almost 400 pictures, over 30 clips of video, and a baby that is one year older to show for it.

i still have so much to process and i need to figure out how i am going to organize all of my pictures but i have to start with the "beach pictures".

i love that the fact that the kids have on normal clothes and yet it still does not stop them from playing and digging in the sand. and although it was a little windy that night the setting was absolutley perfect. i only wish that i didn't misplace my camera's charger for my nikon. i had to use my standard point and shoot for these pictures...

beachisms

grandaddy: you can do it! you swim like a fish!

calvary: i swim like a dead fish!

beachisms

harper: that wave was so big it made me tinkle!

the babiest baby...

turns one on tuesday.

cue the tears.

cue the smiles.

cue all the mixed emotions that come with babies growing up.

blah.

my summer mantra...

i always have big plans for summer. in fact, i live for summer. even after i finished school as a student i took on a job at a school as a teacher. so summers have always been free. and now as a parent of a grade schooler i live even more for summer.
the school year is hard work.
i have to pack a lunch.
make sure my child has clean clothes.
make sure that child is clean herself.
feed that child breakfast.
make sure that child has finished her homework (good grief 45min of homework is excessive for first graders?!).
make sure that child gets to bed at a decent hour.
basically be the buzz kill for any child anywhere. my job during the school year is to be the warden. once i smell summer, my heart begins to tingle with excitement. oh so soon i can liberate myself from the confines of parental responsibility! oh so soon i can taste the joy of childhood with my children!
my expectations are set unreasonably high. i expect summer to be the healing salve to all of the stressful moments of the school year. after all, i worked hard for this. she worked hard for this. we deserve relaxation.
so, my mantra for this summer is "gentle parenting -- live big and love your children"
sometimes having four children is stressful.
sometimes i try to control the chaos with reigns that are too tight.
i'm not sure exactly how to implement my mantra but i pray that my heart is made evident to my children. i wish i could just unzip my chest and show them how much my heart beats for them. but that would be gross. and probably scarring. especially for calvary but not as much for harper. harper would be intrigued. the point is, sometimes i feel overwhelmed with how much "parenting" gets in the way of how i want to love. and having four kids means that there is ALWAYS someone that needs some parenting; whether that means changing a diaper, putting on clothes, trying to preserve nap time peace, disciplining a bad attitude, breaking up a sibling quarrel.
i just want to breathe this summer. i want to sit back and watch my children be children. i want to spend more time with them and less time managing. i want to care less if a nap is interrupted. i want to give more snacks and jump on the bed. and maybe give snacks while we jump on the bed. i want to ignore the bubbles that spill over to the floor during bath time. i want to read more books and color more pictures. i want to bake and sew. i want to race in the pool. i want to find a new way to maintain order in my house.
i love my kids and i enjoy my kids. and how blessed am i to be able to spend my summer days at home with them?!
"live big and love your children"
"live big and love your children"
"live big and love your children"

the face of fury...

harper captured this picture of calvary today when she refused to hand over the camera when he was ready for his turn to take pictures. apparently he has taken more ownership of the picture taking kid then we would like.

the last day of first grade...

friday was the last day harper would ever be in first grade. i find it fitting that her pictures represent how much change this year brought to her. the first picture is at a different front walk, wearing a school uniform, carrying a different back pack, and lunchbox. this school year has represented monumental changes for all of us, but harper may have experienced the brunt of each change. most changes were positive; we are no longer spending 2 hours a day in the car just for school drop off and pick up. some changes were a little harder to swallow; poison ivy and ticks are much more common hazards of our new life. and yet harper has taken it all in stride. i am in awe of that girl's strength. she truly is a force.

in all honesty i find her to be my most difficult child. i always feel guilty that i created a circumstance for her that was not ideal. i feel guilty that her life is different than her brothers and sisters. but i also marvel at how God has restored so much and has allowed harper to have a life as free from division as much as possible. a feat only He could accomplish. i worry about correcting her because i know that she rebels against correction. i worry about not correcting her because i know how she pushes boundaries. i worry about her liking me. i worry about her not needing me. i feel sad when she seems indifferent to the very best i can give her. i feel sad when i hurt her feelings for being angry with her. i feel angry when she has a bad attitude about not getting her way. i feel angry when i catch her being sneaky. all of these emotions are normal and intricate on their own but then they are much more complex when i throw in everything else.

i just want her to know that i love her more than my life. i love her in the moments that she is intoxicatingly sweet. i love her in the moments that she is infuriatingly stubborn. i love her for who she is. where she is. all of the time. no matter what.

my greatest prayer for her life is that she will consecrate herself to God and follow Him and His will for her life.

my greatest fear is that she will try to make her own way.

she is my most difficult child because she is my most independent. she was born standing up, ready to claim her place. she needs me less and for that reason i am afraid that i cannot protect her from making mistakes. that scares me. i know the pain that comes with making wrong choices. i understand the profound way that those choices can change your life.

because of my choices her life is more complicated. i will always feel guilty for that.

my peace is knowing that her life is full of people that love her and out of that love embrace every part of her. God has also shown me how He has given harper the strength of many. this first grade year has been evidence of that.

if the study that i read that claims that a person's personality is set for life by first grade is correct than i can rest assured that harper will do just fine in life.

she is a beautiful gift that i wish i could hold on to longer.

a whirlwind season...

t-ball was definitely a whirlwind this season. we had 6 games total. all of which were in may. the bonus to that was that we escaped much of the heat that has been excruciating this past week. the downside is that calvary really, really loves t-ball. last year was much (MUCH) more difficult. he didn't really want to participate and only really wanted to hit--both people and the ball. this year he was definitely more involved in the whole process. he was excited about practice and loved to get ready for his games. his favorite part was running the bases and he made it a point to slide into home every single time. this year he was also much more consistent with hitting a ball when pitched to him. i'm not ready to be a baseball mom...the game is not really my thing...but if he loves it i will gladly endure and, most likely, grow to love this game.