a thankful heart...

most of the time i try and think of myself as a thankful person. yet, this week i have realized that i have let the hassles of my life slowly creep in and steal away precious gratitude. i am not sure how it first happened, but i think staying home with my children has to be a daily choice. i have to choose to see the squabbles, the ignoring of requests, the lack of sleep, the elevated voices during naptime, the lack of gratitude for my cuisine as something more than what they are...or at least overlook them to see the big picture...
i think that must be it; the big picture.
sometimes being at home makes it impossible (for me) to see the big picture.
my world becomes as small as theirs and soon i let these small little problems in the grand view become enormous views in the microcosmic view of childhood.
oh, it can wear a soul down... :)
the world is bigger. and i have so much for which to be thankful.
i have three beautiful, healthy children who bless me *every* day with joy.
i have a husband that i adore for so many reasons---i feel safe, treasured, loved, and important with him.
i have a mother who proves that motherhood does not end at 18...
i have a father who is exceptionally good at expressing his emotions and is not afraid to let me know that he loves me and misses me.
i have a mother-in-law that treats me like a daughter.
i have a father-in-law that loves his grandkids with all that he has.
i have been given so much, but most importantly i have been given this life. each day that i have wasted with the poison of ingratitude is a day i have lost. i have lost a chance to let the people i love the most know how much they mean to me.
without a doubt, making a list of things for which i am grateful is cliched, and my list is not even difficult to compose...and i am ashamed to admit that i have been in a ungrateful funk...and cliched or not, this thanksgiving God allowed me to see that and for that i am most grateful. :)

oliver jack is 11 months old!!!

list of adorable things he does at 11 months old:

• blows kisses


• hugs (he thinks making the "uumph" sound is hugging)


• gives sloppy open mouth kisses (both harper and calvary puckered up and never did the cutesy open mouth kisses)


• waves backwards (again, a first for me because harper and calvary mastered the proper wave technique and never did the textbook baby wave)


• pretends to go night night


• pretends to talk on the phone


• says "da da" discriminately


• says "ma ma" discriminately


• says something that sounds similar to "jack jack"


• points and grunts to get his point across


• drinks from a straw


• feeds himself pretty well with a spoon


• potty trained...just kidding


• lights up when he sees either his brother or sister for the first time of the day


• plays baby with harper and participates nicely as she forces him to lay down and hold teddy bears and pretend to sleep and eat pretend food and wear baby doll clothes


• smells people's feet and pretends like the stink...watch out if you do not have shoes on because he likes to smell with his mouth.


• puts hats on his head


• plays with cars and balls most of the time


• "reads" books
• barks like a dog
• tweets like a bird

not so cute things he does:

• stalks anyone that goes to the kitchen


• eats twice as much (seriously) as both of my other kids...not when they were his age, but now....he eats twice as much as they do now...


• insatiable hunger makes mealtimes annoying


• if a door is left open, he will find a bathroom and he will play in the toilet.


• thinks "no" is a funny word only meant to encourage the behavior he is doing.

the cute list is definitely longer...so i'll take it :) he is the greatest baby and he is so loved by everyone in this family! what a blessing he is to all of us!

situational irony...

today as i cleaned and reorganized my bookshelves (because that is the logical thing to do when there is laundry piled higher than the fireplace) i found my copy of toddlerwise situated just beside faulkner's as i lay dying.

just when i think i cannot take it anymore...

...i remember that it all starts all over again tomorrow...

not exactly comforting at this moment.

all the mom's (like my mother and kyle's mother) who have raised their kids and watched them go nod their heads knowingly and giggle a sympathetic giggle at this rant...my own mother more than likely felt this way about me and now her giggle is more of one poetic justice served...

today i:

1. took my son for a surprise visit to monkey joe's.
2. bought him a slice of pizza and a blue icee.
3. went down crazy slides with him.
4. picked harper up early from school.
5. watched a movie with her while the boys slept.
6. gave them oreo's and milk for snack.

A+ for me.

i asked them to clean up their own mess in the garage. i expected a "sure greatest mother in the universe" and the reality is that i have heard nothing but screaming and arguing for the past hour...

i did all sorts of nice things for them today and with them today and i cannot even expect them to do ONE thing for me? where is the justice in that?

i escaped to my blog and to remind myself that they are just children and that they are mine and that i love them...

i love them.

(screams in the background)

i love them.

(more screaming)

i love them.

the first night with bunk beds...

so far its been the sweetest sounds:

"thank you mommy for the bunk beds because you helped daddy, too" (calvary)
"yes! thank you! you're the best mommy ever." (harper)

as i sat outside the door listening for mischief:

"night night harper, i love you."
"goodnight calvary. i love you, too."


*i'll let you know if the night ends this sweet*

the truth about tantrums...

the truth about tantrums is that we cannot seem to get a hold of them in our house. the other day i received a babycenter newsletter regarding my three year old and "taming tantrums". i usually do not read these, but this one caught my eye and gave me a glimmer of hope that i may read this one little newsletter and it would change my world forever.

it didn't.

in fact, it did not say anything that i had not read (AND TRIED) from every other book, article, online advice column...i was frustrated because this newsletter offered me hope and only gave me nice sounding words that truly do not amount to anything.
maybe stuff like that has worked for other parents. maybe the super will of calvary is like a mutant gene that is completely resistant to any forms of discipline. kyle and i have tried ignoring the tantrum, removing him from the room, waiting until he was finished with the tantrum and correcting him, taking things away, putting him to bed early, and many other countless methods. we stick with them, too. the most effective method has been ignoring him and removing him from everyone else---i mean, if you are going to have a tantrum i am at least not going to give you an audience.
all of this has had little effect to really reducing the frequency of tantrums.
just the other day i took my brood to wal-mart to pick up a few things i needed. we made it in and out without a hitch. i was feeling quite proud of my little ones and had made the mistake of praising their behavior just hair too soon. harper decided that she would pull calvary's arm as we walked to the car...just something a person shouldn't do when playing with a ticking time bomb...and calvary LOST IT. he was screaming at the top of his lungs (seriously-the tippy top) and swatting. i saw the whole thing and while harper's actions were incredibly annoying, they did not warrant the explosion of angst that we all received.
people stared.
boy, did they stare.
i just walked like they were giggling and laughing and playing with wildflowers. i strapped them in their car and composed my thoughts...both were pleading their cases as to why they were not at fault...i told them that when they got home they could go to their rooms and think about why i was mad at each individual and that when i called them out i would like an answer.
they did it. but who cares? i am not really sure all of this matters in the long run. i am glad i kept my composure, but at the end of the day i am still the crazy lady at wal-mart that has out of control kids.
anyway, calvary's tantrums started before he was even one. i can remember holding him and if he did not get what he wanted or what he was feeling across he would flail his body backwards...i almost, but never did, dropped him on several occasions.
one time he threw an entire plate of spaghetti--he was 13 months old then.
just the other day, kyle told calvary that his 3 minute timeout started once he finished screaming. he continued to scream. kyle repeated himself to make sure he had heard and calvary screamed, "I KNOW WHAT I AM DOING!". about 2 minutes later calvary said calmly from his room, "okay, i am ready for my timeout to start."

what?

so. what we really need is for someone to write us a newsletter with *real* pointers about how to tame tantrums...were tired of just containing them or ignoring them. i need them to end!

at least, in his defense, he is ridiculously cute and sweet when he is not having a tantrum...

loved by choice designs...

if you like cozy t-shirts...

or beautiful handmade journals or photo albums...

or inspiring artwork...

or timeless jewelry...

AND helping a great cause, then please check out my friend traci's website.

traci and her husband adam are in the nearing end of the adoption process! they have been blessed with two beautiful children from taiwan and hopefully they will be home with their family soon.

as anyone who has been involved in the adoption process either directly or indirectly through a friend knows that the prices are incredibly steep. traci decided to use her gift as a talented artist to help raise the funds for her own adoption as well as start aiding others going through the adoption process.

100 % of the proceeds from loved by choice designs goes towards helping people pay for the expenses of adoption! how awesome is that? adoption is traci and adam's first choice for growing their family and i believe that their hearts are such a perfect display of the spirit of adoption. God has given us the perfect model for adoption--he does not *have* to love us---he *chooses* to love us.

http://lovedbychoicedesigns.com/

why do we educate our children?

so, the problem with children learning to read and spell is that they still cannot hear. well, properly.

there are quite a few words that we do not say in front of the kids and have opted to spell instead. the list includes, but is not limited to, the following:

• fat
• kill
• stupid
• candy

for the most part, this list is pretty self explanatory. however, the other night the method failed in the most miserable of all ways.

the actual conversation:

kyle was worried about some steak he just grilled and was asking me if it was too pink. i assured him that the steak was fine and he responded, "that's what you think and all of a sudden i k-i-l-l-e-d my whole family...except for jack." (jack was not eating steak) i laughed.

what harper heard:

harper looked up in horror and asked "why did you just say you would kill your whole family except for jack?!"

kyle, shocked and desperate to assure her that he said no such thing, defended himself. i mean this is one miscommunication that could have drastic social and mental hang ups for a child.

calvary, not nearly as disturbed as harper, explained to harper the "except for jack" part of the conversation was because he was "too fast".

eventually, harper grasped the concept of what was actually said and i think for the moment we are going to take a hiatus from spelling and brush up on our spanish...she's not as good at that. she still thinks her spanish teacher's name, Senor Long, is Cinco Larko...so were safe with the spanish...

guess who has teeth?

that's right. oliver jack has finally taken ownership of those little bulges under his gums! he was having a difficult time sleeping last week and on thursday and friday he was a bit more difficult to get along with...i was constantly checking his gums and on saturday morning i felt the sharp ridges of teeth! he is about a week shy of the 11 month mark and i am hoping that the rest of his teeth do not take as long to actually emerge from the swollen gums...it seems like oliver jack's gums have been swollen for months.

let the festivities begin...

364 days out of the year we beg, command, dare our children to take candy from strangers...but on one magical day, all those words are put aside and the contradictory nature of parenting emerges as we not only allow strangers to give our children candy, but we encourage it. i never really thought it would feel as much like peddling as it did. i dressed my children up in their selected costumes and gently led them to the doorsteps of the selected houses and instructed them to beg for candy. it felt so wrong. but boy were they happy. we avoid the nighttime displays of trickery and scary and opt only for daytime festivities and the kids could hardly contain their excitement. i kept warning them that the weather might not cooperate but except for a few showers the rain held off. unfortunately, i did not get anywhere near enough pictures.
calvary dressed as a transformer, or bumblebee to be specific. he was so proud.
harper, for whatever reason, picked to be a doctor. the world was hers and she picked a doctor. maybe she has set her goals early.
as always, harper and calvary failed to disappoint as we walked from house to house. both were quick to inform that calvary could not have peanuts and then calvary would also chime in, "and i don't like almonds!" i guess when it comes to trick or treating beggars can be choosers.

my favorite part of the night was when we walked up to a house and the lady had her datsun tethered to a stake to enjoy the company. harper, overjoyed, asked if she could pet it. the lady told her that she could pet the small dog because she wouldn't bite to which calvary replied, "i can't pet cats."

the real question is how is halloween candy to be moderated? i think i have come up with the simple solution of 1 piece per day. at that rate we should not have to buy any candy or treats until well into next year.

and while calvary's jazz hands and jack's carnage from his daily living room ransack are humorous enough, the faces in the background are the real reason i have included this picture.

harper dressed as little bo peep for school on wednesday. i was a little disappointed that she did not choose to wear this costume for halloween as well...but i am just here to support her choices...and little did we know how handy that mask would be in the following days....