harper has been at this school "for almost a whole year"...

so obviously we knew it was time for a change.
the other day harper and i were riding in kyle's truck and harper made the comment that she had been at the school she is currently at the longest.  and while she is not quite right (she made it through her entire kindergarten year) she will be correct in her statement by the end of this year. 
however, in spite of the fact that harper has already been to three different schools, we have made the familial decision to home school in the fall. 
gasp.

i have hesitated to write this entry for several reasons one of which being that i wanted to make sure that we were certain that this is what we wanted to pursue.  i also wanted to make sure that most of our family new and would be supportive...i mean, this is a huge undertaking and i know that i will covet the support and prayers of our families throughout the process.  and a little bit of me was scared of having to answer the question of "why?".
one day i want my kids to be able to look back and read this and think, "that's what they were thinking!" and i think that my blog is the perfect place to record the reasons behind our life altering decision.
let me first preface my apology by saying that this decision is in no way based on any sort of displeasure with the public school system that my children attend.  on the contrary, their school is the very reason i wrestled with this decision so intently.  we can all sit and think of the shortcomings or pitfalls of public education; we all know that they are there.  however, few are willing to stand up and praise the efforts of a system that it is set up for failure and still fights feverishly to produce to successful, educated children.  i never want anyone to assume that we left the public school system because it failed us.
sigh.  so, the school system is NOT the reason.  but what is? 

1. the school system was doing everything that they could do but there was one aspect of their education that was missing that they school system could do nothing about: spiritual training.  over the course of 4 children and the diversity of our home and their needs i have realized how little i care about how smart they are.  i am sure that sounds pretty unintelligent but i believe that our culture puts a disproportionate value on intelligence over character.  my children do not struggle academically for which i am thankful but after that i am more concerned with the conditions of their heart. 
2. the school day is from 7:30-2:10.  we get up at 6:15 and leave at 7:15.  we get home at 2:30 and start homework at 3:00.  we do homework from 3:00-4:00.  i start dinner at 5:00.  we eat between 5:30 and 6:00.  we clean up until 6:30.  we get bathed and ready for bed until 7:30.  we watch a show until 8:00.  that leaves us 1.5 hours of free time.  so about 9 of the kids waking hours are spend dedicated to school.  by the time that i have met all of the scholastic and physiological needs of my brood i am left with relatively no time for any psychological or spiritual need meeting time.  that is just not okay with me.
3. i have the gift and great pleasure of being able to stay home with my kids.  i realize that not all moms (or dads) can swing this and for that i am incredibly thankful.  it is a gift to be home and i think there is no better way to invest in that gift than to educate my children at home.  i know the reality of staying at home and i know that it is not always snuggles and nap time.  quite often there are moments of impudence and wildness and i am not deluded to think that this will be easy.  i am also not deluded to think that i have any idea of what this will be like at all...i just know that for me i have to think of this as a privilege and even on my darkest days remember that this a gift :).
4. i have teaching experience.  although it is limited and by that i mean in time and grade and subject.  but surely teenagers are not much different than grade schoolers, right?  just kidding.  what i plan to use from my experience teaching is the importance of planning.  planning is everything in education.  if i am going to do this i have to be prudent in my use of time.  this has not always been my strongest attribute and quite honestly this is the part that overwhelms me the most.  organization and planning do not come naturally for me.  but, thankfully God allowed me to have the experience teaching high school english which allowed me to know the process of planning and developing strategies for success. 
5. the support of our families and friends has been an invaluable contribution to our decision.  i know there will be days where i question if this was the right step for our family and there will be days that i am so frustrated with behavior and morale that i might want to put them on whatever bus happens to pass by the house that morning.  but with the support and accountability of our friends and family i know that i will have the appropriate places to vent and pull myself back together. 
6. there are so many opportunities for kids that are home schooled to get plugged in socially.  this is a big factor for me since we have a child that struggles socially.  we also have children that thrive socially.  but i would be lying if i thought about that more than i thought about calvary's struggles.  just this afternoon i watched him try to interact with a complete stranger that was so painfully awkward that i wondered if i was making the right choice to take him out of school.  i had to remind myself then and i will have to remind myself many times in the future that social ostracizing is not what will happen.  i have to be diligent in plugging ourselves in and i am thankful that calvary's special needs will be the accountability i have to make sure it happens.

my goals as a home school mom are not any different from my goals as a public school mom:  i want to raise children that are deeply rooted in their faith, that are successful on all levels, that are compassionate and generous to those around them, and that care deeply for each other and their family.  all of this is said under my own convictions.  i am in no way thinking that every parent should take their children out of school and start homeschooling.  i do not think hope is lost for any kid in the public school system.  on the contrary, i believe that there are wonderful, godly people at all the schools.  my convictions are on a personal level.  they are rooted in my belief that meeting the needs of my very large family left very little time for me to be successful in the spiritual training of my children.  when i thought about this i could not rationalize the gain for the sacrifice.  as i wrestled with this decision i remember looking at kyle one night as we sat on the couch and saying, "i just don't want to think one day 'i wish we would have...'" because i do not get a do-over. 
so, there it is. 
we are (almost) officially a home school family.  and we are excited...mostly.  there are so many things to do that at times it is overwhelming.  but i know that this is the path that our family is meant to travel and i am excited to see the fruit that will undoubtedly develop in all of our lives as a result.