friday's musings...

things i am loving about this week:

1. sleeping through the night with only one night time visitor...ahhh sweet slumber.
2. saving money by cutting satellite.
3. halloween costumes.
4. halloween candy.
5. holding hands with oliver jack.
6. watching finley hold out her little hand to hold hands with one of her siblings.
7. finley finally learned how to push herself on the little trike outside.
8. calvary pushing finley in the cozy coupe.
9. harper's sense of pride as she was entrusted with helping a new child with special needs in her class get to and from the cafeteria and to and from her special education class.
10. the sense of pride i felt in knowing that she has learned to appreciate and love people from many different backgrounds and feeling as if we, her family, has been partly responsible in fostering that heart.
11. calvary riding a school bus for the first time for a field trip--his excitement was contagious.
12. calvary trick-or-treating by saying, "the big bad wolf wants some candy!".
13. having coffee with a friend and realizing that i rarely get out.
14. play dates with kids and moms that i enjoy :)
15. oliver jack getting in the creek at the park and consequently getting himself covered in mud so that we have to strip him down to his skivvies to leave...oh the looks i get while i am out anyway coupled with this makes me one phenomenal spectacle.
16. kyle surprising me with candy and diet dr. pepper on his way home from work.
17. hand me downs

and now a word for our teachers...

there are many people out in the world that are ready to bash the people that instruct our children daily.  and there are many teachers that do not take the responsibility seriously and fail to realize the impact that they have not only on a child for a year but a child for a lifetime and their entire family. 
as a former teacher i can admit that sometimes the daily maintence and sheer volume of bodies in the classroom can be a distraction and lead to careless mistakes that are fundamentally critical in a child's development.  my prayer is that my heart was made evident and that i did more good than harm.  but for the harm i caused, i pray for forgivness. 
teaching is a huge responsibility.  i will forever remember lady mcd orienting myself and other new teachers with james 3:1 that says, "not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly". i thought i understood the gravity of that statement as i instructed other's children but my understanding of the responsibility greatly evolved as i entrusted my own sweet babies to teachers other than myself. 
i suddenly understood how easily a teacher could mess up my kid. 

then i thought about calvary.  i thought about all the things that i always think about with calvary.  oh the thinks you can think :) 

i have posted before about all of my apprehensions about calvary and school.  and i have marvelled at how well he has transitioned into a classroom this year.  i have watched as he has been excited day after day to learn new skills and how he mind has evolved to learn even more on his own.  i have also been on the other end of phone calls from his teacher...not with news of problems, but with news of how well he has been doing. 

just the other day i sat with his teacher for his conference and she told me how she makes sure that every morning she goes through the schedule for the day so that calvary will know exactly what to expect at every part of the day.  she also told me that she has learned to decipher this "look" calvary gets on his face when he needs some time to difuse and she allows him to separate himself to the computers for a few minutes to gather himself.  she also told me that calvary has made great strides in communicating his needs with her (a huge step for him).  she told me that when he gets nervous he starts to pace in place almost like a boxer.  she also told me that he has a habit of jumping up and down when he is exceptionally excited or in need of talking with her.  she told me that he hates to get things wrong...but she is working with him to understand that as long as he tries his best he has done a great thing. 

as she spoke i felt the gratitude well up in my chest.  this teacher was an answer to my prayers.  you see, this entire year i have prayed that his teacher would see calvary for who he is...and i know without a doubt that this teacher knows calvary's heart.  she took the time to learn all about him. 

i wanted to tell her what a blessing she was to our life and as i did tears unexpectedly pooled up in my eyes.  i felt silly.  but this is my child.  this is my son whom i have loved before he was even born.  this is my son whom i have grieved my inability at times to understand, correct, or comfort.

what a gift she has been not only to my son but to our entire family.

fridays musings...

things i am loving about life this week:

1. finley's little laugh...she is thinking more and more things are laugh out loud funny and it is becoming more and more exciting to figure out what sets her off.
2. calvary's beautiful little mind and figuring out how it works.
3. watching harper and calvary walk out to the car with harper's arms wrapped lovingly and protectively around his shoulders.  i just thought i loved watching them hold hands; but this i might love even more.
4. kyle's excitment about doing something about which he is passionate.
5. snuggling with oliver jack and finley in the mornings after we drop harper and calvary off at school.  this has become my new motivation for getting all the beds made before drop off instead of after. 
6. learning how to be more responsible...i.e: behaving like a grown up.
7. sewing projects.
8. sewing projects that lead to more creative projects.
9. friends that join in the fun of sewing projects that lead to more creative projects.
10. praying about big life decisions and receiving the peace that i needed to be excited about the future!
11. finley in a vintage baby dress reading a book in my adored yellow chair.
12. oliver jack looking over at finley in the car and saying, "mommy, finley is beautiful.  she's a princess.".
13. oliver jack asking me for a "beautiful push" on his bike.
14. teachers that are patient enough to learn the special needs of children. 
15. reading through the stack of harper's writing samples at school that have all been about how much she loves her family...sometimes she puts up such a front at home that it is nice to have these moments when i realize that she really does love me :)
16. harper and calvary begging to have a sleepover.
17. oliver jack wanting me to kiss his hands before bed so that he can keep those kisses "just in case he needs them".
18. friends that just get me.

homeless harper the happy hobo...

over the past years harper has earned herself a less than favorable reputation.  she, without any hesitation, will eat candy from any location---be it the floor, the trashcan, or any parking lot anywhere.  i have to tell my seven year old child that she cannot eat candy from the parking lots.  she, also without hesitation, will eat leftovers from the trashcan if she finds them desirable.  she also eats her food as if at any given point someone will suddenly try to reach over and grab it. 
it is for these reasons that harper has earned herself the nickname "homeless harper the happy hobo".  she has mostly eluded any pictorial or video evidence of her less than lady-like behavior, but the other night, under the guise of filming something finley was doing at the table, i was able to catch harper at her best. 
it needs to be emphasized that no part of this is staged.  harper did not realize that i was filming her or even paying her any attention.  she only saw the crumbs of finley's cupcake and noodles of her leftover spaghetti. 

kyle also wanted me to mention that just yesterday harper found a wrapper in her trick or treat bag from last year that still had chocolate on it.  what did she do?  she licked the chocolate off of the wrapper.  yep.  homeless harper strikes again. 

vintage finley (at 16 months)...

today we had a little impromptu photo shoot with little finley rose.  it all started with her finding and retrieving to me a little antique baby gown.  she wanted me to put it on her, and even though finley is not incredibly vocal, her requests will be made known if a person is willing to figure out her clues.  i tried to explain to her that there was no way the gown would fit on her because it is intended for newborns...she remained fervent in her desire.  imagine my shock when i put my precious 16 month old baby in the little dress and it fit...not only did it fit but she looked so sweet and oddly perfectly vintage that she didn't even seem anachronistic.  i just knew i had to take some pictures.  so i took one of our yellow dining room chairs outside and took as many pictures as the boys would allow (5 minutes).  i am so happy that she wanted to wear the dress and extra happy that i have pictures of how sweet she looked.  sad for me to realize that she is quickly growing and yet this is how i'll remember her.

friday musings...

things i am loving about life this week:

1. how the kids call a group cuddle time a "snuggle pot". ("come get in the snuggle pot daddy!")
2. watching finley do her version of a run to greet kyle when he gets home.  her joy is precious and makes me fall even more in love with kyle.
3. after i squished calvary into several uncomfortable positions all the while asking him, "would you let me sleep in here like this?" he finally told me, "i would sleep any way you wanted as long as you were in here..." (melt this momma's heart)
4. finley's love for bare bellies...especially mine and jack's...i think she has a thing for squishy.
5. harper's laugh...basically the sound of true joy...i think heaven will ring with the sounds of that laugh.
6. kyle sending me sweet texts during the day.
7. oliver jack's recent transition from always wanting to be the bad guy (yikes!) to suddenly wanting to be a musketeer so that finley can be the princess that needs to be saved.
8. calvary finding words that he knows everywhere and in every thing...it is as if he is looking at a magic picture and the image is suddenly jumping out from behind all of the squiggly lines and fuzzy colors.  he sees words within words, words made out of tree limbs, words made out of noodles, words on signs, and wherever he can imagine they are.
9. my new haircut...well it is three weeks old...but i am finally getting used to it and figuring out how to style it myself.  it is funny how a haircut can make me feel totally different yet totally like myself at the same time. 
10. coffee.  enough said.
11. clean windows. 
12. curtain tie back hooks installed in my bedroom so i can pull the curtains back and see the woods (thanks kyle :) ).
13. calvary riding his big wheel full speed down the hill of our driveway and then power sliding around in the grass.
14. kyle working on the tree house.
15. the kids playing restaurant out there and asking me to make them signs for fast food restaurants.
16. days off of school...nothing better than us all being together.
17. watching harper eat like a starved chipmunk.
18. finley's empathy.  i joke that she is not so smart but she can sit on my lap and watch me read a story about a missing child and even though i am not crying my body language must evoke to her that something is wrong because she suddenly gets concerned and turns to me and gives me her "sad baby" face...she is definitely in touch with those around her.
19. feeling excited for the family across the street as they move into their new house.  i am so excited for them!  i remember what it was like to move in to your brand new home and it just makes me happy for them knowing what they are feeling...
20. having a thankful heart.

friday musings...

things i am loving about life this week...

1. finley saying the word "tushie" and pointing to her belly.
2. harper's missing two front teeth.
3. playing tag.
4. the fact that calvary is just about too fast for me to catch him while playing tag.
5. oliver jack cried for me when someone broke one of my favorite bowls.
6. listening to calvary read.
7. good conversations with awesome friends.
8. my pink lemonade colored mums for my front porch.
9. the awesome asphalt apron for our driveway...we love it!
10. watching finley check on anyone that is crying or hurt.
11. harper's motherly nature as she plays with finley.
12. snuggling while watching movies with the windows open and cool, fall air breezing in.

finding balance...

it is no secret that housework usually falls victim to neglect in this household and i have struggled with finding the balance between doing the things i really want to do (make memories with my family) and the things that need to be done (laundry, dishes, toilets...).  over the years i have developed many fad-type solutions that start strong and quickly fade away into failure.  and then there i am.  standing in a sea of filth with happy children.  their happiness dissolves once their dear old mom loses it as i stare at an enormous pile of laundry that seems insurmountable.  the living areas begin to implode because even though my children have absolutely no qualms with creating enormous messes they refuse to play in that mess.  they only like rooms that have the maximum potential for destruction.
after doing a personality study at a professional development seminar while i was teaching i learned so much about my personality and why it was sometimes difficult for me to be understood by my principal...you see i, myself and an art teacher were the ONLY teachers in the entire high school that had a type I personality.  better yet, the head of my department also happened to be my principal and she had a type C personality.  i learned that day that type I personalities drove type C people crazy.  awesome.  anyway, that's for a whole other post.
but in learning about my personality i realized why i struggled so much with housework. 
according to chris witt's (speaker, coach, author) a person with type I personality at their best can*:

• communicate a vision, mission or goal, in a way that inspires others to adopt it and work toward achieving it
• be enthusiastic and creative
• see the best in others and help them to believe in their abilities

most of these characteristics lend themselves awesomely to one side of being a great parent and teacher.  i love to do things in a new and exciting way.  and there are only so many ways that you can clean a toilet and none of those ways are inspiring. 
witt goes on to say that at a type I's worst they can*:

• shirk your homework, relying on your ability to talk your way out of any trouble.
• lack follow--through rarely finishing what you begin
• be superficial and glib

well then.  i am most resistant to hold on to the concept of being superficial and glib but seeing how the other two are spot on for me i am sadly beginning the think that the reality is that i most be both.  lack of follow and shirking other responsibilities that seem mundane are exactly the reasons why i struggle so much with the maintenance side of being a great parent and teacher.  i would much rather build a train track then fold laundry and i would much rather discuss a great novel then write lesson plans.  but all of it needs to be done. 

as a proactive means of self-improvement witt offers ways to help be at my best*:

• develop time management skills
• listen. question. pause. consider.
• be more discriminating.  learn how to appraise people more realistically.
• resist the urge to do something new.  rein in your impulses.

basically all of my fad moments of genius were just tell-tale type I moments.  i thought in those moments i was overcoming all of my personality flaws and becoming the best mommy/housewife the world had ever seen.  not so. 
since i started to realize my own shortcomings as it comes to this side of maintenance and order i have started to rely on others for guidance.  i have taken bits and pieces of realistic genius and added it to my own life and the results have been magical (a bit of drama makes this subject a little less boring).  developing time management skills was an overwhelming concept for me so i am grateful that it is something in which other people are gifted. 
so here is my list of borrowed house maintenance tips that have become of treasure trove of sanity for my home. 

1. NO TOYS DOWNSTAIRS.  this one comes from christy.  it looks differently in her house because her rule is no toys in the living room/kitchen.  but the heart of the law is that to have a functioning home kid stuff cannot completely take over.  it is easier to maintain their mess if it is limited to a certain area.  of course we let this rule slide when friends are over or for special circumstances, but for the most part my downstairs keeps a certain level of clutter free wonderfulness that no one complains. 
2. NEVER GO TO BED WITH DISHES IN THE SINK.  this one comes from alli.  this has really been an easy  way to truly start each day fresh.  there is nothing worse than having to deal with yesterday's dirty dishes first thing in the morning. 
3. ONLY WASH WHAT WILL BE DRIED AND PUT AWAY.  this one comes from christy too and it has saved my laundry life.  i used to be victim of washing every load and piling it in a corner until i had time to fold and put away.  but now i feel like i get more laundry done and i never have piles of clean clothes cluttering up my bedroom. 
4. CLEAN ONE EXTRA ROOM A DAY.  this is my own.  but it has actually worked for me.  instead of trying to clean every room one day i work at maintaining the common rooms like the bonus room and the kitchen and then each night i try and clean one other room...like our bathroom or the kids bathroom. 
5. MAKE THE BEDS.  this one comes from my mom.  she always had us make our beds or she made them and i never really understood the need for that.  but it is such a simple way to make things feel tidy.  and i love tidy. 

my house work list of commandments, although borrowed and amended, have made it to where i am rarely facing the stress of anxiety of preparing for a visit.  i am not embarrassed to have someone unexpectedly show up.  and as a whole we are happier and coincidentally able to spend more time together...

i definitely welcome any other  ideas for house maintenance simplicity...Lord knows i can't really come up with them on my own.



*http://www.wittcom.com/DISC_I_personality.htm

finley rose is 15 months old!!!



finley in the woods...

september marked finley's 15th month of life on the outside.  she is (kind of) growing and (kind of) changing everyday.

the truth is that i find it difficult to hide my surprise when someone tells me how big she has gotten.  mostly because i know the only thing that has really grown on her is her hair.  at the doctor's office the other day she measured in at the 5th percentile and the <5th percentile for weight.  i make jokes about her not being very smart but i really think that she is really just very quiet.  she knows exactly what is going on around her but the fact that she is delightfully content paired with her naturally quiet disposition leaves her with little to say or complain about.  she mostly wants to cuddle.  and even though she is officially weaned she still craves the closeness.  she has absolutely no interest in nursing, but she constantly brushes my hair out of the way or pulls at my clothes just to put her cheek against my skin.  i can't say that i hate that.  she occasionally wakes in the middle of the night and she will go back to sleep straight away only if she is laying on one of our chests.  she is a pretty good sport but unlike oliver jack she is less smitten with her older brothers and sister.  she loves calvary because he keeps the most distance.  he, having written the book on personal space, is the only one of her siblings that seems to realize that she is indeed a real person and even though it may be funny to dress her up in build a bear clothes or mommy's pants like some sort of hooded long skirt she might have her own agenda.  for that reason she usually gravitates to him.  harper is sort of wearing out her welcome.  finley's patience has been worn thin, but harper is slowly winning her over with her new game where finley is the princess and harper is her servant.  all finley cares about is the fact that harper lets her carry around a purse.  perhaps one of my most favorite things is finley's empathetic side.  she does not like to see people upset or hurt.  after watching me comfort someone after a fall or sibling argument she will often times offer a hug or gentle pat on the back.  she loves to hug oliver jack and she squeals with laughter to kiss him at nap time.  she's not without her flaws...she is getting quite used to being doted upon and her picky eating rivals that of her father's...but she is a delightful gift.  every moment is a blessing.  and i become increasingly aware of that fact every single day...



she loves to cuddle...



she is silly



15 months old

she loves her brother...