finley is 4 months old!

i cannot believe that she is already 4 months old...she is officially out of the newborn status and can simply be called an infant now. she is so sweet that i just cannot make myself get away from her. everything makes it more difficult for kyle and i to get away for just the 2 of us. with harper, as much as i wanted to embrace life as a mother, i was not completely ready. she was also the most difficult baby. and she was bottle fed. by the time finley has come around i find myself not wanting to leave my children with anyone. not even for a couple of hours. sometimes it is necessary and so far those are the only reasons we have managed to get it together enough to make it happen.
kyle and i know that we need to get out and have a date night, but the idea of asking someone else to come in and take over this ship is becoming an increasingly obviously difficult thing to ask of a person. plus...i like my family. i love my kids. some days we have rough days, but everyday they bring joy to my life. i don't want to miss anything. with finley's 4 month juxtaposed with harper's 6th year i am incredibly aware of how quickly all of this passes.
harper will only be a little girl for a little while longer and i want to enjoy every moment of her wanting to be with me and looking up to me. she may only proudly display the things that i make her for a little while longer. she may only want me to read to her and take her to ballet for a few more years. and at this point i feel like i cannot take those moments for granted.
calvary will only be a little boy for a little longer. next year he starts kindergarten. it won't be long before he realizes that he's too cool to want to hang on to me. he won't want to stay with me at church instead of hanging out with his friends. he might not say "i love you" 500 times a day. he might not need to kiss me 15 times before bed or draw me pictures when he thinks (knows) i'm upset with him. and i know i don't want to miss it.
oliver jack is growing more and more everyday. he's no longer the little baby that wants to snuggle and sweetly play. now, he's a little boy who wants to express his independence and the mind that he is learning is his own. he will soon be too busy to realize that i still want to hold his hand or snuggle in the bed. he's carefree attitude might make it difficult for him to realize that i just want him to come and play with me, and while i can, i want to be the one that gets those rare snuggles and moments of quiet.
finley is an answer to prayer. i prayed that jack would be a laid back baby, and that he is. he will go with the flow as long as we are doing and going. he's too busy to be still. and he is the picture of idle hands and devil's playground. i have rescued many things from the toilet and cleaned crayon off of countless surfaces for evidence. with finley, i prayed that she would be a gentle spirit to counter all of the big personalities in the house. so far she has been just that. she would contentedly sit on my lap all day if i would let her. she calmly and sweetly watches all of the chaos around her. she sweetly smiles at her brothers and sister as they sing and dance and make crazy noises to entertain her (if only they knew that they entertain her all the time without even trying). she lovingly tolerates all of the misplaced fingers, toes, and arms that haphazardly find their way on her head, face, or body. she sleeps. she sleeps through all the chaos, all the noise, all the time. she handles being put in the car a million times a day like a champ. some days i make the executive decision that finley will not leave the house so that she can get the rest her body needs. she refuses to sleep in the car or while we are out and about. so, some days i know that we need to take the time to let her get the naps that all of the other babies got without interuption. it has been a great reminder to slow down and enjoy life.
i have loved watching kyle with her. just as i have watched my own love and nature evolve with each child, i have watched kyle change as well. oliver jack served as a reminder to us both how quickly these days pass. we both held onto his infancy as long as we could and we try to figure out ways to keep harper and calvary from getting any older and any more independent. but they have a taste and are on their way more than we can help. finley, on the other hand, holds on. kyle goes out his way to hold her. if i suggest the gym, bouncy seat, or swing he politely declines. he says, "i'll just hold her." one day he said he just wants to make her into a necklace so that he can wear her all the time. weird. but sweet. he loves how she holds on to his arm when he holds her and how content she is to be held. he has refused several people who have offered to hold her in his place (he swears he didn't understand or had a justified reason). i call her a living doll and that is exactly what she is.
i have also watched as he has spent more time doing things with harper, calvary, and oliver jack. playing legoes, riding bikes, playing ball, taking them shopping...
i am thankful everyday for the decision that we made to have more children. and i am unbelievably thankful that God believes that we could handle it...still not totally sure of that one.
i believe that i needed oliver jack and finley to show me that they truly will not be little for long and reminded me that with each day and each request i will have more things that i will miss. these children have made me rich beyond compare and i only hope that i can show them each day how much joy they bring to my life. i am proud of every single one of them and i pray that i live up to their expectations so that one day they will believe that they had the best mother in the world because that is what they deserve :)

finley's 4 month sats:
25.5 inches long--75 %
14 lbs -- 50 %

oliver jack's 4 month stats:
26 inches
16 lbs

calvary reid's 4 month stats:
25 inches
15 lbs 3.5 ounces

harper faye's 4 month stats:
24 inches
13 lbs 9 ounces