calvary is 3!!!!

it is difficult to imagine that today i would be two days out from recovering from the most heinous labor of my life. after passing out i went on to pass an almost 9lb baby boy. he seemed so huge laying on that little table! before i had him in my arms i wondered if i would be able to love him like i loved harper; i wondered if there would be enough of me to go around; i worried if harper would feel like she had been cheated---but of course i can hardly remember harper without calvary or my life without either. the day i had to hand him over to an anesthesiologist when he was just 5 weeks old i knew just how deeply i love him. now that he is 3 i wonder where my life would be without his irresistible charm; i mean what other little boy can spit game like this: "mommy, i like your boobies."

"thanks....?"

"but i like your eyes the best." that cannot be taught. you've either got it or you don't, and calvary has it.

today, at 3, calvary is filled with passion. he would give everything he has to make sure that someone he loves is happy. his first inclination is to be sweet, but if provoked, watch out. he has had harper cowering, looking for cover, and begging forgiveness on more than one occassion. he knows all his letters, can count to 16, write his name, and stealthily hide out in the hallway and watch tv instead of going to bed. he has a dramatic side that reminds me of growing up with my little brother....one night i woke up to the sound of his screams and i ran to his room to find his face covered with blood (a sinus nosebleed). as i ran in he looked at me and wailed, "LOOK AT ME!!! MY PAJAMAS ARE RUINED!" he has the craziest hair, but i guess we should have suspected that with his natural mohawk.

he let me swaddle him until he was a year old and i am hoping that he will let me hold him as long as my arms will allow...