sometimes i get so caught up in the ooey gooey part of parenting that i am totally sideswiped by the grimy part. don't get me wrong. i love being a mom. i think i have been living for this part of my life my whole life. and the funny thing is that i never really put much thought into having my own kids one day or being married and all of that nonsense and now at age 26 i am a married mother of (almost) 3. crazy.
i never like to admit that being pregnant effects my mood. however, after the past 3 weeks pregnancy mixed with exhaustion is the only plausible explanation for the overwhelming sense of being overwhelmed.
we have been helping my little brother with a soccer clinic that he has organized through his church in mooresville, nc. so after a week of vacation we dove straight into driving to mooresville three times a week (45min-1hr drive) to coach soccer and teach godly principles to 8-10 year old kids. it really has been fun, but i am 4.5 months pregnant and running around in cleats playing soccer! the kids have really had it too...usually they are in bed by 8:00pm but for the past three weeks it is sometimes more like 9:30 or 10:00. so our little family is in dire need of a return to pre-vacation normalcy.
monday morning i threw my hands up and thought to myself "i am the most ineffective mother in the world! my children are going to grow up to be wild, disrespectful maniacs and i am the one to blame!" i was at what people describe as their wits end (whatever that means, but i was there).
i took harper and calvary to the library to sign up for summer reading and we were having a great time until....
harper said she wanted to look at some books and i told her sure, after we clean up the crayons and puzzles. she proceeded to ignore me and headed straight for the books. i calmly reminded her and she calmly headed straight toward the books. this continued until she eventually just as calmly grabbed a book from the shelf. not knowing what else to do i simply picked her up and said that we were leaving. and we left.
that man is famous for saying "don't sweat the small stuff" but i personally think that he is an idiot. with a child it is all small stuff. they are small. harper, by all accounts, didn't committ any grave sin. she had a fantastic attitude...a fantastic attitude about completely and willfully rebelling against what i had said should be done as a prerequiste to what she wanted to do.
spilling blueberries is small stuff.
spilling blueberries because you are being defiant is another deal.
however all of this sweating can lead to fatigue and dehydration. i truly felt like i was failing. i came home and picked up a book off of my bookshelf that i have had for ages and ironically should have read it before monday because the title is Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours. the irony is that i felt like i had already lost mind. after praying for patience and guidance i sat down and read...
the wonderful thing about reading instruction pulled directly from scripture is that we all know what it is going to say. but like everything concerning God, sometimes we need to hear it all again just to be comforted by the message...don't give up the good fight. it may sound weird to compare raising children to a battle but once that age of defiance sets in even the most precious darlings are rooted in fallen humanity. and those cherub faced fallen ones are only part of the battle. the other part rests in the much older--stretched out faces of their fallen parents. sometimes we want to scream and shout. sometimes we want to spank. sometimes we want to crawl in a hole and just retreat. enroll them in dance, soccer, sunday school, preschool...anything to find a way out of doing what God has instructed us to do for our children...raise them without causing resentment and wrath through loving discipline.
after harper poured green rainwater sand on calvary's head i had had enough. i told harper in anger (and retreat) that they were bathing and then she was going to her room. i put calvary in the bath and harper in the shower and sat down and read ephesians 6 and i felt so convicted. even though i did not scream and shout i was letting my fatigue keep me from showing harper loving discipline. i got her out of the shower and read this passage to her. i explained both parts: the instruction for the children as well as the parents. i told her we both had work to do and then we prayed. her prayer went like this, "dear God thank you for the day and help me to listen better and give mommy patience, amen." it was sweet. and let me know she listened.
of course not all is oooo and ahhhh sometimes we have eeeeww and gewww moments and i think those moments are the moments that although they are painful and difficult teach me to prepare my children to be adults that can live in the face of their own battles...choosing good over evil.
i recommend both books to any parent, some may feel they will never need it. i sure didn't. others may be past the point of children...but sometimes it feels good to read something that says you aren't totally screwing up. i said both books because the other is the Bible...excellent read...two thumbs up.
i never like to admit that being pregnant effects my mood. however, after the past 3 weeks pregnancy mixed with exhaustion is the only plausible explanation for the overwhelming sense of being overwhelmed.
we have been helping my little brother with a soccer clinic that he has organized through his church in mooresville, nc. so after a week of vacation we dove straight into driving to mooresville three times a week (45min-1hr drive) to coach soccer and teach godly principles to 8-10 year old kids. it really has been fun, but i am 4.5 months pregnant and running around in cleats playing soccer! the kids have really had it too...usually they are in bed by 8:00pm but for the past three weeks it is sometimes more like 9:30 or 10:00. so our little family is in dire need of a return to pre-vacation normalcy.
monday morning i threw my hands up and thought to myself "i am the most ineffective mother in the world! my children are going to grow up to be wild, disrespectful maniacs and i am the one to blame!" i was at what people describe as their wits end (whatever that means, but i was there).
i took harper and calvary to the library to sign up for summer reading and we were having a great time until....
harper said she wanted to look at some books and i told her sure, after we clean up the crayons and puzzles. she proceeded to ignore me and headed straight for the books. i calmly reminded her and she calmly headed straight toward the books. this continued until she eventually just as calmly grabbed a book from the shelf. not knowing what else to do i simply picked her up and said that we were leaving. and we left.
that man is famous for saying "don't sweat the small stuff" but i personally think that he is an idiot. with a child it is all small stuff. they are small. harper, by all accounts, didn't committ any grave sin. she had a fantastic attitude...a fantastic attitude about completely and willfully rebelling against what i had said should be done as a prerequiste to what she wanted to do.
spilling blueberries is small stuff.
spilling blueberries because you are being defiant is another deal.
however all of this sweating can lead to fatigue and dehydration. i truly felt like i was failing. i came home and picked up a book off of my bookshelf that i have had for ages and ironically should have read it before monday because the title is Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours. the irony is that i felt like i had already lost mind. after praying for patience and guidance i sat down and read...
the wonderful thing about reading instruction pulled directly from scripture is that we all know what it is going to say. but like everything concerning God, sometimes we need to hear it all again just to be comforted by the message...don't give up the good fight. it may sound weird to compare raising children to a battle but once that age of defiance sets in even the most precious darlings are rooted in fallen humanity. and those cherub faced fallen ones are only part of the battle. the other part rests in the much older--stretched out faces of their fallen parents. sometimes we want to scream and shout. sometimes we want to spank. sometimes we want to crawl in a hole and just retreat. enroll them in dance, soccer, sunday school, preschool...anything to find a way out of doing what God has instructed us to do for our children...raise them without causing resentment and wrath through loving discipline.
after harper poured green rainwater sand on calvary's head i had had enough. i told harper in anger (and retreat) that they were bathing and then she was going to her room. i put calvary in the bath and harper in the shower and sat down and read ephesians 6 and i felt so convicted. even though i did not scream and shout i was letting my fatigue keep me from showing harper loving discipline. i got her out of the shower and read this passage to her. i explained both parts: the instruction for the children as well as the parents. i told her we both had work to do and then we prayed. her prayer went like this, "dear God thank you for the day and help me to listen better and give mommy patience, amen." it was sweet. and let me know she listened.
of course not all is oooo and ahhhh sometimes we have eeeeww and gewww moments and i think those moments are the moments that although they are painful and difficult teach me to prepare my children to be adults that can live in the face of their own battles...choosing good over evil.
i recommend both books to any parent, some may feel they will never need it. i sure didn't. others may be past the point of children...but sometimes it feels good to read something that says you aren't totally screwing up. i said both books because the other is the Bible...excellent read...two thumbs up.
2 comments:
Ahh yes, the era of rebellion...thank God my parents were patient with me like your patient with your children. It pays off in life :)
Excellent writing Cassie. I just love this post! I like how you're are always so real in all your posts. Thank you for the insight and recommendations...I love that, "two thumbs up", hehe!
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