(just a warning that the following image may cause a few to lose their stomachs)
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today, as i cleaned up from lunch and tried to get oliver jack to take a nap, i heard calvary yelling "MOOOOOOOOOM!" from the bathroom.
i responded with, "WHAT?! AND STOP YELLING!"
i was not in a big hurry because calvary often calls me to the bathroom to assist with various inhumane chores to which i am not especially in a hurry to do.
as i turned the corner i saw what could only be described as a grisly horror scene from a poorly budgeted sci-fi movie.
poor calvary was just standing there with his pants around his ankles is pure shock. he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said, "i was trying, (sniffle) to make (sniffle) to the potty (sniffle). mommy, (sniffle), i'm sorry i pooped on the floor....".
i assured him that it was okay and anticipated the worst. i mean if the floor looked like this i could only imagine the scene inside his pants. i walked toward him and asked him to hold on to my head as a took off his shoes, shorts, and underwear. much to my surprise none of his clothing had been scathed by the alien goo which covered my floor! WT... how in the world could my floor look like this and his pants come out without a hint of the disaster left behind?!?!
this must have taken calvary by as much surprise as it did me. i can only hypothesize the chain of events:
1. calvary tells me that his tummy hurts.
2. he runs in the bathroom only to find it occupied by his older, much slower, sister.
3. he waits patiently; playing with bits of toilet paper and other various objects around the bathroom.
4. harper leaves.
5. calvary pulls down his pants to climb onto the potty.
6. as he pulls his pants down, poop explodes out his bottom on to my floor.
7. he calls, "MOOOOOOOOOM!"
clearly this is merely a fanciful timeline of events; the true details of this event will remain lost in the mind of a horrified 3 year old little boy.
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