Dictionary of Calvary's Expressions

calvary has this very interesting habit of naming objects what he decides is a good name for them without ever asking or waiting to find out the subject's actual name is. sometimes it takes us quite a while to figure out what he is actually talking about...for instance, calvary calls a paci a kiki because he used to refer to his blanket and his paci as one...so when he asked for his kiki he meant both his blanket and his paci. i have to add to the list because i have already forgotten many...

Christmas Man = Santa Claus

My man thing = wallet

The man = kyle's workout machine in the garage

Jinglebells = Bojangles ( i believe this one is rooted in harper's name for the restaurant, Jobells)

kiki = paci

wipe = white

bless you = sneeze

grips = grits

frog feet = flippers for the pool

alarm clocks and parenthood...

i miss sleep. i really, really do. i get the hours but i am lacking on the quality...those good hours of sleep where i do not dream or think or perform any other task of the mind or body. in my list of failures i mentioned that i lose my patience with harper and calvary more often then i would like. most of those moments of lost patience involves early morning hours. calvary slamming doors, outbursts of laughter, the pitter patter or little feet (that's supposed to be cute, right?) all jar me out of an already tentative state of sleep. all i want is some sleep! why don't we just tie bells around their necks and give them bugles to increase the annoyance to a state of prodigious vexatiousness?? if they only knew they could get away with eating all the cookies in the house, pouring honey on the bathroom floors, or even shaving intricate designs in their hair if only they were quiet! sigh. i guess in all actuality God has prepared me for all of the difficulties of motherhood through the insanity of pregnancy. he is really good about doing this sort of creating parallels between two different stages of life or life moments; for instance the sacrificial lamb parallels to christ as the sacrificial lamb---it is all quiet literary and the significance is not lost on me---likewise pregnancy is very preparational for motherhood. God sets the stage. what begins with nausea propagates into stretch marks, weight gain, and (gasp) varicose veins. as if that was not enough to get the point across, this being that has been vegetating pound for pound within my uterus has to come out...dot dot dot. nice one. i get the picture. parenthood is not easy. i imagine that a sweet little parable would not be nearly as effective as multi-pound human squeezing out of an orifice minute in comparison but i like to think God's sense of humor also has something to do with it as well. if i was to think labor and infancy was difficult, i suffered a mind blowing epiphany to learn that 4 has by far been the most difficult stage so far...maybe age 4 correlates to the second trimester/ or maybe third...God definitely knows what he is doing when he makes these babies so precious and cute...

the good and the bad...

each night i sit on the couch and i think about the things that i am going to do better the next day. having a third child has really stretched me beyond confidence. transitioning from 1 to 2 children was a breeze. i imagined that transitioning from 2 to 3 would be just as simple and i was wrong. the hardest part has been feeling like i am the mother i want to be. with 2 i felt in control of my emotions, organized, and effective. with 3 i have felt none of these. however, over the past couple of weeks i have realized that i may once again become a confident mother and i need to focus not only on the things i am going to do better the next day but also the things i have done well an plan to do well again...so i started mentally making a list of the things that have me me proud of myself as well as the areas where i feel like i have failed....

things i am proud of:
since jack jack has been born i have read three chapter books with harper (the boxcar children, my worst friend, and the little princess)
i have spent individual time with both harper and calvary reading to them each night before bed
i have tried to consiously tell harper thank you for all of the help she gives me and recognize all of the responsibility she has on her
i have made dinner more nights than not in the past couple of weeks
i have managed to keep the house "picked-up" for a solid week! :)
i have made myself get dressed every day even though i am sad that most of the clothes that fit me still look like pajamas
i have excersized for 5 out of the past 8 days
i have played games with both harper and calvary
i took harper on a "date"
we had a "big kid day" where kyle and i took harper and calvary bowling
i have prayed with both of the kids daily for ourselves and others

things i am not proud of...
i have raised my voice at my kids more in the past 6 weeks than i have probably in their whole lives
i am not nearly as patient as i would like to be
i despise playing barbie and i try to find any reason in the world to avoid playing barbie
i do not enjoy my children crawling into bed with me in the morning because all i can think about is sleep and how i am not.
i have allowed far too much cartoons (we used to only watch 1 hour spead out over the entire day)
i feel like i do not smile enough at their silliness and i am trying to tell myself to smile
i do not enjoy the amount of time i have to devote to jack jack nursing...i feel like i am a food slave.

as the weeks continue i have managed to cut some things off of my list....like we are watching much less tv these days! there will always be things of which i am not proud but i want my kids to feel loved and know that i did my very best to give them a happy and loving childhood. second to wanting my children to know jesus as their savior i want my children to have joy and a love for their family that is rooted in togetherness and deep concern for each other. i don't want to merely survive each day and i am working on finding my way out of survival mode so that we can make a new normal... :)

1 month and counting...

stats for jack:
weight-- 10lbs
height-- 22inches

he is consistently sleeping 5 hours straight at night and last night he slept 9 hours!!! so now that we have a baby sleeping through the night it is now time for me to think about getting that rockin' post baby bod that all of the hollywood moms seem to get so fast...
i've read that the best way to get back in shape is to hire a personal trainer so that is exactly what i have done...

one month and counting...

well..we've made it.

i'd like to exaggerate and say that we are barely hanging on and that most days i am walking around like a zombie, but the reality is far less dramatic. we have been beyond blessed. oliver jack is a fantastic little baby and harper and calvary are fantastic little kids. the reason i am not a zombie is because of my fantastic husband. there have been impossible days, but on those days i have my mother-in-law to thank for rescuing me and taking my two precious preschoolers out for some much needed attention. on other impossible days i have had my own mother come to my rescue and sit with me and chat either on the phone or in person. my house is not clean. i have barely made it out of my pajamas before 3:00pm...if then. but this week i have managed to prepare meals for my family of 5 and wash and sort all of the laundry...babysteps. our schedule looks a little like this:
7:24 kyle turns on the television for the kids....
7:30-8:00 am wake up ( i feed jack jack)
8:00-8:30 breakfast for harper, calvary and myself
8:30-9:00 get harper and calvary dressed
9:00-10:30/11:00 nap for jack
9:00-10:30/11:00 i play with harper and calvary or we do school work and housework
10:30/11:00 i feed jack jack
11:30-12:30 lunch with kyle
1130/12:00-1:00/1:30 jack jack's nap
12:30-1:30 play with the kids
1:30-3:30 harper and calvary's nap
1:30 i feed jack jack
3:00-4:30 jack jack's nap
3:30-4:00 snack for harper and calvary
4:00- 4:30 cartoons
4:30 i feed jack jack
5:00-7:00 dinner and kyle
6:00-7:30 jack jack's nap
7:00- 7:30 get ready for bed
7:30-7:45 cartoons
7:30 i feed jack jack
7:45 i read to harper and calvary in their own bedrooms and lights out at 8:00
8:30--- lights out for jack jack
8:30-10:30 kyle and cassie time! yay! i eat copious amounts of junk food at this point in time to recover.
10:30 i feed jack jack
11:00 back to bed for jack jack and bedtime for me
11:00-1:00 kyle plays video games
1:00 kyle feeds jack jack....
sometime between 4:00 am and 6:00 am i feed jack jack
and at 7:30 it starts all over again....

updates....

some new pictures...

calvary has officially embraced his new brother... the other night he asked if he could hold jack-jack. his request was completly unprompted and his delight immeasurable. as with all things calvary, it had to be on his own terms. as i put him to bed last night i offered him his pacifier and he looked at it and nonchalantly stated "i don't need it", and that was that. he did use it at nap but i believe that big steps like potty training and habit breaking and new sibilings has to be all at his own pace---when he's ready, he'll jump in.

all of the hugs and kisses from harper and calvary's pneumonia and bronchitis ridden little bodies have had the adverse effect of oliver getting rsv...

thankfully their illnesses were also enough to keep me highly alert to any symptoms oliver displayed so we caught it rather quickly. the saddest part is that he has to take two breathing treatments a day---it breaks my heart to see his little face behind the mask. i pray that he recovers quickly and our life can return to some state of normalcy....no more new births, holidays, or sickness...that is my new year's resolution.

introducing oliver jack murray....

oliver jack murray

december 19, 2008

8 lbs 10 oz

22 inches

we anxiously awaited oliver's arrival and finally on december 18th (my due date) the greatest doctor in the world agreed to induce me so that i would not have to risk being in the hospital on christmas. my experience with the hospital was fantastic. i actually felt like i was present for the first time during the birth of one of my children. i was well rested and prepared and he was born without complication. we are so thankful! we named him oliver because that is my maiden name and we love giving our children family names. jack came from harper. ever since we found out that he was a boy harper decided that she would call him "jack jack" and she did. and calvary did. we really wanted to incorporate the name somehow because it has special significance since harper picked it. the name is short for jonathan, which means "God is gracious" and nothing seemed more perfect for naming our child than a reminder of how gracious God is in giving us children!