my children...

i realize that pregnancy brings about many wonderful and complex emotions. i am a very open person; i do not mind sharing details about my life but i have realized that my sharing must be on my own terms. i do not do well with questions. i used to get so frustrated with my dad when i was a teenager and i remember him saying, "i am only asking a question." in my mind, i believe that if i want someone to know something then i will share that information.

i've heard the saying that when a person chooses to be a mother they are choosing to let their heart walk around outside of their body and i interpret that to mean that a mother opens herself up to unparalleled vulnerability. i have to share what i love most in the world with so many other people. i have to listen as other people gloat at how my children, whom i love more than any other person could, cry when it is time to come home because they were having so much fun. i am supposed to grin and nod and cater to their need to feel loved by my kids while ignoring the hurt of sharing my heart with the rest of the world...so while i am so thankful that my children have so many people that love and adore them, i also recognize that i am watching my heart run around outside of my body...

i guess that is why during pregnancy i am a little more (okay a lot more) guarded with information than i usually am. this is the only time that i get with this little one with only me and i selfishly want to enjoy each of those moments with private appreciation. i have not given all details about every appointment or offered up information about every movement or hiccup because this is the only time i have where i will truly have intimate time with this little one that no one else could share. selfishly i want to preserve that time.

it has taken me a while to understand why i am more guarded or peeved by questions concerning pregnancy more so than questions about other life situations, but i finally came to this realization today. being a mother is complicated and the emotions associated with motherhood are more complicated than i ever would have suspected...

harper and calvary's band...

so we have decided to look in other venues for harper and calvary's talents because the door for singer/songwriter has officially been closed. who knows though, this may be the early videos on a true hollywood story one day. until then we can enjoy their showmanship and creativity.

election day humor part II....

wednesday i informed harper that barack obama became our 44th president. our conversation, verbatim, follows:

Me: Harper, Obama won the election.
Harper: What?!?! (with anger and dismay) George Washington was the best president we ever had!!!
Me: Well, maybe Obama will do a good job too.
Harper: Obama is no good.
Me: We do not know that...we will pray that God will guide him and he will make good choices, right?
Harper: No!

what can i say? the girl loves george washington.

election day humor...

kyle and i were having a conversation about the upcoming election while driving to dinner one night. evidentally, harper has overheard conversations concerning different candidates and offered her opinions on the matter:

Harper: "brookie (8 year old litttle girl at school) is voting for obama and i am voting for george washington."


this is probably the soundest choice of all...vote on, little one,vote on.