Loved...

I remember the morning that I first woke up to see this little guy sleeping in this beautiful Moses basket.  Just the day before, I held him wrapped in rags, covered in the signs of birth, hungry and crying.  But today, 2 days shy of 9 months ago, I am remembering how he slept like a prince.


This is how the Lord loves us.  He takes us in.  Washes us clean.  Wraps us in new clothes.  And we rest; we rest in the shadow of his wings...we sleep like royalty...and in that moment we hear the message, "You are seen. You are known. You are free."

Today, I woke up needing to remember that this message is for me.

I would like to think that this is a message that I would never forget.  But sometimes, especially as women, we get so caught up in the act of serving, teaching, and mothering that we forget that we are also known, seen, free...and mostly...loved.

Papa was the first baby that the Lord asked me to walk alongside and help carry his burden.  His burden was too heavy for one little baby to carry.  It is a load that no baby should have to carry.  The minute I held his body in my arms it was as if I was looking at an old photograph.  This baby is why He called me.  This moment is why I was here.  Papa is known.  It was my job to stand in the gap so that he would never question it.

Then there was Anthony...The Lord saw him in his sickness and knew that he needed someone to help remind him that he is loved.  He asked me to be that person.  The Lord, in His infinite goodness, knew that He had a family waiting for him.  Only that family could not be there in that moment.  So He brought Anthony to me and asked me to love him like my own.  I cared for him in the way that only a mother can care for her sick child...He gave me endless strength, patience, and courage so that Anthony would never have to feel forgotten or alone.


Mili came in with a bracelet from the hospital labeling her as abandoned.  How quickly we label people with chains and bondage that tie them to lies!  The Lord asked me to pray that she would know the truth that she is pursued.  Her name is not, and never was, "Abandoned."  Her name is, "Loved," "Redeemed," "Free."

The first time I saw Genny's face it was on the front page of the newspaper.  I immediately called our social worker and asked where she was and asked her to bring her to us if it was possible.  The Lord put her in my heart and a few weeks later I was picking her up from the local child services office.  As I sat cradling her body in my arms that night, or more accurately, morning, tears flowed down my cheeks.  I will never know the circumstances that led her birth family to place her in a trashbag and discard her among bags of things unwanted and unnecessary...but the Lord put within me a desire to speak against that spirit of rejection.  I prayed over her that she would know the truth that she is God's most precious treasure.

We have been called to help carry the burden for these children because the burden is too much for a child to carry alone.  But the burden wasn't taken off of the child at the expense of another.   Since leaving Honduras I have felt all these things: I have felt unknown, forgotten, alone, purposeless and abandoned.  All of the things that I have prayed against in all the children I have served, I have felt.

In a moment of grief, I was messaging a friend back in Honduras and I was telling her how I feel like what I was doing was important but now everything feels meaningless.

She responded in a way that poured into my spirit and it was as if all the lies that were rubbing my spirit raw were covered and coated...tears streamed down my cheeks in way that they always do when I am confronted with truth...She said to me, "I know the Lord's heart hurts for you, but the biggest lie of the enemy you could accept right now is that this simple obedience isn't meaningful."  And it is in that moment that the Lord was speaking to me that I am loved, I am seen, I am known, and I am free.

This is why we need community.

Sometimes our burdens are too big to carry alone and we need to be reminded that the message we are carrying for others is also meant for us.

I had forgotten...and now I am being carried by my fellow missionary friends in Honduras as they carry each other and my sweet babies, my in-laws as they pour into us and help us adjust back to life here, my parents as they love on us and see our needs without us asking, our friends and family as they listen and pray for us, our church family as they welcome us back with open and hopeful arms...The Lord is restoring my soul with the gift of community.

For this reason, I am excited for the opportunity to attend this year's Women of Faith tour.  In perfect timing, this spring and summer, Women of Faith is traveling across the USA with speakers from the past 20 years to celebrate the beauty of women from different generations ministering to each other and reminding us all that, "You are seen.  You are known. You are free."

I know I am not the only one in need of hearing this message.  For that reason, I am excited that the wonderful people at Women of Faith are offering readers of this blog $20 off the price of the standard or premium tickets in any city with use of the code Carrie20.  Tour information with the names of speakers, dates, and nearby hotels are available on their site.

I will be attending the Charlotte (Oct. 9- Oct. 10) event and would just be pleased as could be to sit next to you and just soak in all the goodness of your company alongside the event!  I am planning on grabbing some coffee and dessert...mostly dessert...over at Amelie's and would love to have some friends to share with.  That way we can all get different things and sample almost all Amelie's has to offer while still feeling like we haven't overindulged {{wink}}. Just don't forget to put in your code so that you can receive your discount and let me know so I can know how many seats to save!

Price includes all event sessions with speakers and muscians such as Building 429, Sandi Patty, Kori Robertson, Luci Swindoll, Jen Hatmaker, Nichole Nordeman and much more...

I do hope that you will consider coming so that you can be reminded of these truths.  We all need to be refreshed, restored, and renewed...Such an amazing opportunity to invest in our faith.