Vapor...

Today in church we sang the Hillsong worship song "The Stand."  As we sang, I thought about the lyrics...something I do arguably too often...and I was strangely conflicted by the line that says, "So, I'll stand my soul now to you surrendered. All I am is yours." 

We think of giving all of ourselves as giving so much.  But really...in the big picture...in the truest, biggest concept of pictures...we aren't giving very much if we give all of ourselves.  

When Kyle and I first began wrestling with God's call away from our life we had one of our most pivotal conversations and turning points regarding the conversation of tithing.  We, like so many others, would find ourselves saying how we wish we had more so that we could help this person or if we had just this much more then we would be all set to do something else.  We also wrestled with tithing because we could argue easily how we could use that money in our daily affairs.  In the middle of our conversation, as we drove down Hwy 49, Kyle looked at me and said, "God can do more with it right now than we could now or later."  In that moment it became so easy.  

We kept hanging on to our finances because we thought those issues were so much bigger than they really are.  

In the same way, Kyle and I began to trust that God could do more with our lives now if we simply gave them over instead of waiting until we made it on our own.  He could do so much more with what we already have then if we wait until we decide that we are enough.

Before, it was if we were tithing on our life...we were giving God a tenth or some other small portion of our life and trying to maintain and take care of the other portion on our own.  But a tenth of a life? Is that really anything at all? 

Out of all the people, across the entire timeline of humanity one life seems pretty small...this could make a person feel insignificant...reminding me of Macbeth's final soliloquy where he says, "Life is but a walking shadow, a poor player, that struts and frets his hour upon the stage, and then is heard no more; it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing." Obviously Macbeth is having some tough times...but I believe the insignificance he feels is because he is trying, or tried and failed to make his own significance.  Not quite sure if I am getting a little nerdy here but this is where my brain goes when I sing songs and think about lyrics..but anyway, remembering that Macbeth decides to make his own and the results are not spectacular thus spurring this speech, we are left to think that it is a depressing view to see our lives as small therefore insignificant.

But...

That is not how God works.  Oh me...this is where my heart just floats because I love a good paradox as much as any good literature buff...

I think of the parable of the widow's two mites and how what she gives is clearly less in comparison to the others gathered...yet, her's was the gift that had value because she gave all.

In James' letter in the New Testament he talks about life in similar way to Shakespeare saying, "you are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes." 

The words are quite similar, only this time instead of conveying a message of despair it conveys a message of purpose.  

What makes me interested about this concept of life and vapor and significance is that is only when we realize how little we have to give that we can actually do anything.  

If our life is limited to the vapor of time we have here then we are insignificant.  But the truth is that our significance lies within the eternal.  

That is why it matters to give it all.  

There isn't much remarkable about me.  I am medium height.  Medium build. Medium intelligence. Medium attractiveness.  Overall, in this world, I am medium.

So, it strikes me that God would care that I offer myself to Him.  I am that widow.  And while in this world it may seem that I have not that much to offer, the one life that is touched by the mite I have to offer has eternal value.  It doesn't make much sense to hold anything back.  The vapor here is eternal elsewhere.  

In college we had this whole course load dedicated to the "quest for significance"... It is something we try to quantify and measure throughout life...we try and find it within ourselves by being the best at something or having the most of something. But, in this way it is simple: our significance is inherent.  God made us and cares for each one of us.  Our life is significant simply because He says it is.  Living our life completely for Him then to me simply means letting Him use me to show others that they matter.  My significance is showing others that they are significant.  I love that.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtube_gdata_player&v=86dsfBbZfWs&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D86dsfBbZfWs%26feature%3Dyoutube_gdata_player