donde estan los padres?

i have decided that the best way to use my spanish degree is to use it to feign ambivalence when my children misbehave in public...people will look at my children and i will simply act as if they do not belong to me and say, "donde estan los padres?" sure it might throw a casual passerby off that these children that i keep speaking spanish to when they obviously speak english keep calling me mommy...but hopefully they will not investigate too deeply and the anachronistic elements of my plan will become non important.
i am not sure if my children are actually getting louder or if they just seem louder because we expect them to be quiet more often now because of the precious sleep of an infant. we are taking great steps in accomodating the ever increasing volume of the two older children...the baby sleeps in harper's room or, gasp, the laundry room in a pack'n'play, we have completely over hauled the garage and what used to be the storage area to millions of bags of stuff is now a play area for the kids complete with a huge cozy area rug, and we have stopped taking them to places...well, we still take them places but i have thought about not taking them places but this would be counter productive it seems because they would completely lose the ability to control their volume.
this is why i have devised my aforementioned plan. it seems quite perfect really; i get to brush off responsibility while at the same time brushing up on my spanish.
maybe i will try out the plan tomorrow at the pool where i will undoubtedly have another opportunity of volume control issues to deal with...i have had to leave early the past two times because the return of calvary's tantrums. harper's control issues are normally dormant in public, but calvary's boldness has brought about a gusto for attention from harper that i would rather not have to deal with. who would have thought that a silly pink elmo float would have that much worth to two kids who have never watched seasame street?
anyway, i have given up on all conventional parental methodology. i am now going into exploratory parenting realms...timeouts; i've used them. taking precious items; i've stolen it all. early nap; you bet. they just get louder and louder.
we'll see how this new plan works...