my children...

i realize that pregnancy brings about many wonderful and complex emotions. i am a very open person; i do not mind sharing details about my life but i have realized that my sharing must be on my own terms. i do not do well with questions. i used to get so frustrated with my dad when i was a teenager and i remember him saying, "i am only asking a question." in my mind, i believe that if i want someone to know something then i will share that information.

i've heard the saying that when a person chooses to be a mother they are choosing to let their heart walk around outside of their body and i interpret that to mean that a mother opens herself up to unparalleled vulnerability. i have to share what i love most in the world with so many other people. i have to listen as other people gloat at how my children, whom i love more than any other person could, cry when it is time to come home because they were having so much fun. i am supposed to grin and nod and cater to their need to feel loved by my kids while ignoring the hurt of sharing my heart with the rest of the world...so while i am so thankful that my children have so many people that love and adore them, i also recognize that i am watching my heart run around outside of my body...

i guess that is why during pregnancy i am a little more (okay a lot more) guarded with information than i usually am. this is the only time that i get with this little one with only me and i selfishly want to enjoy each of those moments with private appreciation. i have not given all details about every appointment or offered up information about every movement or hiccup because this is the only time i have where i will truly have intimate time with this little one that no one else could share. selfishly i want to preserve that time.

it has taken me a while to understand why i am more guarded or peeved by questions concerning pregnancy more so than questions about other life situations, but i finally came to this realization today. being a mother is complicated and the emotions associated with motherhood are more complicated than i ever would have suspected...

harper and calvary's band...

so we have decided to look in other venues for harper and calvary's talents because the door for singer/songwriter has officially been closed. who knows though, this may be the early videos on a true hollywood story one day. until then we can enjoy their showmanship and creativity.

election day humor part II....

wednesday i informed harper that barack obama became our 44th president. our conversation, verbatim, follows:

Me: Harper, Obama won the election.
Harper: What?!?! (with anger and dismay) George Washington was the best president we ever had!!!
Me: Well, maybe Obama will do a good job too.
Harper: Obama is no good.
Me: We do not know that...we will pray that God will guide him and he will make good choices, right?
Harper: No!

what can i say? the girl loves george washington.

election day humor...

kyle and i were having a conversation about the upcoming election while driving to dinner one night. evidentally, harper has overheard conversations concerning different candidates and offered her opinions on the matter:

Harper: "brookie (8 year old litttle girl at school) is voting for obama and i am voting for george washington."


this is probably the soundest choice of all...vote on, little one,vote on.

shameless...

so, inspite of the fact that unsolicited advertisement can become overwhelmingly obnoxious, i have decided that i could not possibly not share this information...

i have posted several times about my friend lori jackson's photography and her craft is evident in many different places throughout this blog as well. she is a fantastic artist; she has the ability to capture the essence of a person without seeming contrived. all of this to say that she has recently posted on her photography blog that she is offering a special for the month of october to anyone that schedules a session with her in the month of october...even if you do not schedule your appointment for october you still get the deal as long as you make plans now!

mailto:lsjackson@gmail.com to book your session today!
October Portrait Special - $100

(picture by lori jackson)

the beauty of pregnancy?

so, many people talk of the beauty of pregnancy and i have seen my share of beautiful pregnant people but what i feel like people are forgetting about are the ways that pregnancy has for humbling a woman to doing some of the most degrading things imaginable...i was thinking just the other day of the many ways i have compromised my "beauty" in order to house this little one and i just laughed in spite of myself...

1. i have, on more than one occasion, realized that i have forgotten to brush my hair as i pull my car into the parking lot of the school...

2. on one such occasion i was reduced to using a tiny barbie brush found crammed between crusty backseat of my car to straighten my coif....

3. i have had to ask my husband to buckle my shoes...

4. i have worked an entire day without having my shoes buckled because i just couldn't bring myself to bend over and buckle them myself...

5. i have worn pants to bed and thought to myself, "these pants are so comfortable i wish i could wear them to work" and then i wore them to work...

6. i have worked entire days without having my pants buttoned....or zipped.

7. i drop things and just stare as they float or drop to the ground below...

8. i have really, really mean thoughts about the large amounts of people that think that it is okay to make reference to my ever expanding body...

9. i stay in the bed or on the couch until kyle walks by and i can beg him to help pull me up...

10. i sleep and eat more often than any baby, or NFL football player for that matter, should ever think to sleep or eat...

never before would i allow most of the things on this list to happen...well maybe number 8 happens more often than it should...but still, all of this and people still call pregnancy "beautiful"???

Susannah...

yesterday i mentioned a blog that i have been following regularly. this family has an insane amount of strain on them right now and as i write, little susannah is undergoing heart surgery. please pray for her mom and dad, leslie and charlie, to have peace and restored strength as they endure the wait and sleepless nights associated with all of this. they are also asking for prayer specifically to heal susannah's heart completely in this one operation and that the doctors will perform this surgery with adroit hands. please join me in prayer for this family...