more pictures by calvary...

every moment counts

"a group of us were discussing how to pursue spiritual life when one person, a mother with two young children, commented that it was easier for her to work on her spiritual life before she became a mom.
she had never been taught to consider the possibility that caring for two young children--carried out daily with expressions of gratitude, with prayers for help, and with patient acceptance of trials--might be a kind of 'school of transformation' the likes of which she had never known before. to her, having a quiet time counted toward spiritual devotion, but caring for two children did not.
it all counts. life counts. every moment of life--at least potentially--is an opportunity to be guided by God into his way of living."
~ john ortberg

i was particularly encouraged yesterday morning by this passage. how is God training me today? how is *this* moment shaping me?

the past couple of days i have been overwhelming struck by the truth that God shapes life to prepare us and lead us to Him. He did not simply create and walk away. every phase of our life is intended to train us to become more like Jesus. i don't think i consciously ever thought it but i must have believed that God was this enigmatic being that tried to evade us, His children. the truth is so beautiful. knowing that God has not set us up for failure makes Him even more precious and makes me want to cultivate intimacy with Him.

guess who likes the tractor the most...

first ice cream cone...

afterwards he said, "i am going to eat ice cream in a cone EVERY TIME!"

born for this...

riding in the car...

me: calvary, is finley asleep?! (we had just dropped harper off at school and were on our way home and she was suspiciously quiet and her hand was uncharacteristically still)

calvary: one second let me look....

nope. she's just being quiet...like a baby should be.

to my momma...

dear mom,

you are so much like your dad. my grandfather. you are not quick to share your emotions and it is only when they can no longer be contained that we realize how deeply you felt. dad was always the talker. i know i got that from him. i am quick to share my emotions with anyone. but what i got from you is the intense love of a mother. and it has only been after these years of mothering that i realize all the years of heartache, stress, joy, and love that a mother endures. i also realized that i do believe i owe you an apology...

1. i am sorry for all those times that didn't realize how much thought you put into things that i took for granted because now i know how much that can hurt a mother's feelings.

2. i am sorry for the times i didn't appreciate the simplicity of the day because now i know how much joy just simply being with your children brings to the life of a mother.

3. i am sorry for the times i argued with my brothers because now i know the joy it brings to watch your children enjoy each other.

4. i am sorry for the times that i didn't tell you all that was on my mind because now i know how much a mother just wants to know the hearts of their children.

5. i am sorry for the times that i disappointed you because i know that a mother dreams of lives filled with happiness and void of pain for their children.

6. i am sorry for the times that i could have even for one moment thought that you would care about those moments of disappointment because now i know that all a mother truly cares about is the well-being of their children.

7. i am sorry for the times that i didn't call to tell you that i was okay or that i missed you or that i love you or that i need you because now i know that mother's live for those moments.

8. i am sorry for the times that i disrespected you because i know that those moments are difficult to forget and they hurt more than they anger.

9. i am sorry for the times that i chose my friends over you--whether it was in advice or company--because now i know that a mother is never ready to watch her children leave.

10. and i am sorry for being so independent because even though the world regards this as a good trait i now know that a mother feels most complete when they are helping their children.

29 years worth of apologies aren't really what you want though because the love of mother does not care about the moments of hurt they experienced at the casual negligence of their children; a true mother, like you, only cares about that child. where they are at that moment. and i want you to know that i am happy. my life is full. my heart is overflowing.

thank you.

and just so you know...i am okay. i miss you. i love you. and i need you.

i hope that makes you feel better. :)